Final Thoughts for the Finale

1. It seems like Lindzi is trying to channel Ben with her grey, neutral outfit choices. Which we all know is to no avail. The Bachelor never picks the one we want him to pick.
   
2. I swear that is not Ben's mom. She was not a blonde on Ashley's season! One of the two is a hired actor, I am sure of it.
   
3. Ben's sister needs to watch all the innuendos that she keeps saying - talking about getting Lindzi to "open up" and "release the floodgates" - I'm not making this up - she really said those things!
   
4. The Matterhorn is really spectacular. I may have to put that on my "leap" list (and by "leap" list, I mean bucket list, because a leap list is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of and I'm convinced was something made up by Honda's marketing department, which also strategically got their Honda's placed on The Bachelor this season, which I'm sure led to a huge spike in sales).
   
5. Ben's sister, who I was hoping would be as awesome and rude (aka, honest) as Ashley's amazing sister was to JP, TOTALLY let me down with how easy she let Courtney off the hook. I mean, really? Not even one little hesitation or inkling that she may not be the most authentic person in the world?
   
6. *Yawn* *Fast Forward* Sorry - that was me fast-forwarding through Ben and Lindzi's date - I'm done listening to Lindzi talk about how she is opening up in this relationship. There's only so many times during a season that I can take that line.
   
7. *Yawwwwnnn* *Fast Forward* Sorry - that was me fast-forwarding through another helicopter ride and how it is symbolic of Ben and Courtney's relationship soaring to new heights - there are only so many times I can take that metaphor - and I am WAY past it this season - seriously, they used that metaphor and scenario SOOOOO MANNYYY TIMES. I'm through with rappelling, jumping out of helicopters, rope courses, and zip lines being used as metaphors for relationships.
   
8. Courtney definitely had the cooler balcony to have a balcony scene on.
   
9. OMG, ABC has incorporated Disney into the series by now having the Bachelorettes dressing as Disney princesses, complete with cloaks (and climbing into helicopters to make them hike in heels up the Swiss Alps)! This is my comparison for each:
   
   
   Poor Lindzi.
   
   
   
   And this would be my depiction of Courtney and Ben.
10. Oh my gosh - so shocking (not) - Ben chose Courtney! Didn't see that one coming!! (see Number 1)

It's been real all my rose-loving friends. Thank goodness this is now over so we can mentally prepare ourselves for Emily Maynard (aka Melanie Wilkes from Gone With the Wind) by watching "The Voice"!

PS - You need to check Jimmy Kimmel Live's spot with Chris Harrison from tonight - priceless!!

From Zero to Sixty

My top ten moments from tonight's episode:

1. Rachel being all upset with Blakely's "sexual dancing". Doesn't she know that VIP cocktail waitresses just know those type of things? It's why they wear silk shirts that just barely cover their lady parts. But then belt the shirts. Because that makes it so much better. (For the record - a belt does not make barely-covering silk shirts appropriate or acceptable attire.) (BTW, how many times did we have to watch Blakely "dance" the same exact thing? It felt like fifty million).
2. A scrapbook!! I've been waiting all season for one. Thank you Blakely for giving me my quintessential scrapbook moment. (Sorry that you were then promptly shown the door).
3. Little boys in loin cloths playing soccer and jumping in rivers. And then a random Panamanian rain forest tribe being coerced into an group date in which they have to dress up annoying American women (and one who feels that she needs to go topless - and bottomless. Lord help us.) I hope that this was one of those tribes that have no contact with civilization and this was their first interaction with annoying Americans and they graciously dressed them up in the few pieces of clothing they own that they have painstakingly made by hand.
4. Did you know - Panama City is actually kind of metropolitan, according to our bachelor. Gee who would have thought the world's biggest canal and seaport would be kind of metropolitan? 
5. Chris Harrison grilling Casey S. about whether or not she is still in love with her ex-boyfriend was awesome. And her denying it, but then admitting it, through her long-winded verbal diatribe was priceless. And admitting that she needs to be in therapy. And I would have to agree with her assessment after seeing her in that awful denim romper. 
6. Nothing says hot like using a machete on a coconut. At least according to Kacie B. I'll have to take her word for it.
7. I also like that on a "secluded" desert island, the champagne is still free flowing. Good thing Kacie B. packed a corkscrew as one of her three things to take to a deserted island.
8. I want Chris Harrison to give me a hug and dating advice. What I wouldn't give to have Harrison be my guide on a "journey" of love.
9. Jaime's kissing lessons and step-by-step guide to seducing a man takes the cake (but not the rose!). No words. 
10. Emily's got some rhyme skills. Not bad for a white girl. Especially when she disses the bachelor for his frizzy hair, but makes it cute by dissing her own hair as well. 

Just some of the gems from tonight. What about you? What was your favorite moment? How long did you cringe/laugh/keep a pillow over your head and eyes during the whole Ben/Jaime interaction?

Some Unsolicited Career Advice

Dear Elyse on the Bachelor,

When you leave your job to go on the "Bachelor" to "find" "love", please be square with us. Please know that the viewers who are watching this are seasoned, sarcastic TV aficionados and we all know that you are just on the show to try to get some reality 15 minutes of fame - which is really 15 seconds - and you are going to end up on the next season of the Bachelor Pad for two episodes. Please don't try to elicit sympathy from us for your moronic move to leave your job that you "love." If you really loved it, if you really had passion for it, you would never have entertained the thought of leaving Florida to go on a reality show where you are guaranteed almost anything other than falling in love with the Bachelor.

Sincerely,
Your Career Counselor

PS - When you come across as mean, jealous, and highly emotional on national TV, it will probably not bode well for you in the future.
PPS - When you state that you have already done everything that you want to do in life, you need to dream bigger dreams.

---

Salacious Skinny Dipping. The sullying of humanitarian Roberto Clemente's name by being mentioned on The Bachelor. David Gray's "This Year's Love," a twelve-year old song that I first started listening to 11 years ago. Awful satin one shoulder dresses. Neon Yellow fingernails. Gorgeous Puerto Rico. VIP Cocktail Waitresses being revealed for their true profession. Using "spending more time with" someone to rationalize doing bad things that you feel crappy about the next day. "Winning". Stomachs turning. Hyper-ventilating, teary-eyed drama.

All in a night's episode. It's good to know that there are some things that you can always count on in life.

PS - Does anyone else think that Casey S. looks like Paris Hilton?

PPS - TOTALLY shocked that boring Josh Groban kicked cute Jennifer to the proverbial curb! Whoa!
PPPS - Was anyone else reminded of Joe Millionaire during the whole skinny dipping episode? (Kudos to those who actually remember Joe Millionaire)

Hitting Like a Ton of Bricks...

Emotional ones that is.  Yes, this week was all about the emotional walls we keep with each other.  I confess, I have lots of emotional walls.  Watching Loveline with Dr. Drew made me realize this.  And I don't believe that my walls have come down yet, but I can guarantee you all that I am here for the right reasons - to bask in the awesomeness of the Bachelor and people making fools of themselves on national TV!!  And if you're not here for the right reasons, well, I suggest that you just not accept the rose offered at the post tonight.  Without further ado, let's "dive" into ten thoughts.

1 - Chantal really made an impression on Brad last week because lookey here, she gets the first one-on-one date of the night.  And, what is that?  Dost my eyes deceive me?? Why No, it is the first appearance of the ABC helicopter arriving to whisk our Bachelor and his erstwhile date away to some random California seaside town (Catalina I think they said? Looked pretty whatever seaside California town it was).  And for their date, what do they get to do? Walk some murky underwater "wonderland"? It really didn't look like Ariel's cove to me - no Sebastian singing "Under the Sea".  In fact, I think all it did was show the polluted water, which is really attractive to look at on national TV.

2 - Aww, I like Chantal with Brad.  I have a feeling that their connection could go far.  She keeps him on his toes.  But wait, what's that? She was with her high school sweetheart for 6 years and then married to him for 4 years?  That's kind of a long time.  OH well - keep keeping our Bachelor on his toes Chantal.

3 - Group Date Time!  And we are whisked off in the limo with mimosas!! Sign me up!  I really like how the producers have gotten these things down to a science - liquor these girls up and watch the crazy come out.  Sounds like a winning formula to me!

4 - Wait, is that Dr. Drew?!  Loveline?!  Ummm, can we say AWESOME?  Oh, and what is that in the girls' hands?  Could that be some more alcohol?  Right before going on a pyschotherapy radio talk show?  Ummm, AWESOME.

5 - Oh wait a second.  How did I get all the way to #5 without mentioning Michelle's fake black eye?  And was it just me, or did her "black eye" change sides?  Probably not, but I swear I thought it was on the other side.  I swear to you guys, this girl is not here for the "right reasons".  All of her interviews this week just seemed too scripted - she had me fooled for the past three weeks with the craziness, but this week it just seemed to cross the line of fake-ness.  Probably because via my new fav Bachelor blog, The Possessionista I learned that this "hair stylist" is going to be in a movie that comes out this April.

6 - YES!!! THANK You Chantal for totally calling out Michelle on her hypocrisy.  That was a brilliant reality TV moment.  And ohmygosh Ashley H., get a grip!  Or go find Frank in Chicago where you can both bemoan the hardness of being the first date on the Bachelor/ette and all the emotional roller coasters that you ride as a result.

7 - Forget the repelling down a building in LA...what about the fake conversation that Michelle had about "her daughter" Brielle?  When you compare her reaction to Brad's question to Emily's reaction last week, I think we get a clear picture of this "woman's" connection to her daughter.  Yet it is so typical that Brad is into her.  It is a rule of all Bachelor/ette seasons that the completely crazy person somehow convinces the Bachelor/ette that they are completely into them.

8 - Poor Meghan and her walls.  Smart girl for having them.  Not smart girl for admitting it to the Bachelor - especially when she didn't have any real chemistry with him in the first place.  Sorry girlie - time to take the hideous hot pink wedges and go home.

9 - That was really sweet how Brad pulled Scarlett/Melanie/Emily aside and "recreated" their winery date outside in the front of the mansion.  What is not sweet is the promos for next week in which they show Emily on the group date on a NASCAR RACE TRACK!!! Seriously, Producers, have you no heart or compassion for a poor woman's grief???

10 - I LOVED how Brad waited until the last rose to give a rose to Ashley H.  That was priceless.

Oh this show.  How I love thee.  I'm putting bets on Lisa, Marissa, and smiley Alli are the next goners.  How about you?  Who's next to go?  Who do you think will make it to the final two?  And most importantly, when will Chris Harrison resume his role as the Bachelor therapist??  Plleeeasseee more screen time for OHCH!!

Love is a Hollywood Studio Lot

I'm not sure that I will be able to properly recap this week's episode because I was in the midst of experiencing some kind of 24hr stomach bug while watching this week's episode.  Most of the episode was watched in some kind of stupor - which, in hindsight, was probably the best way to view it.  So, with all that warning, here are my ten thoughts on this week's episode...

1 - Seal singing "Kiss From a Rose" acoustically was everything that my eighth grade self hoped that it would be.  I now need to dig through my dusty CD collection and find a CD player somewhere in the museums to play it on.  Can you just imagine being Heidi Klum? If I was her, I would have Seal sing that to me all the time.

2 - Ashley S. is just cute. I can't help it - she reminds me of my cousin who lives in Mississippi - who is in the eighth grade - which is the same age I feel like Ashley S. is.  But whatev - she is a cute NYC nanny and I am sorry that she lost her daddy.

3 - An action movie group date? Say what?  Really Bachelor producers, getting Steve Ho, the stunt actor double for Donatello in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, to "film" an action movie.  Because clearly the best way to find a wife is to see how she high-kicks her way through a bunch of manufactured stunts.

4 - Again with the fireworks Michelle? Please, can't you find some other kind of analogy for your first kiss with Brad?

5 - Hey Alli, when you are going to highlight your boobs on national television by wearing a half-top bra thing, why oh why, do you follow it up with some kind of awful blue slip non-dress thing with a black pattern thingie on it? You my dear win worst-dressed of the week for me.

6 - What kind of crazy pills do you think Michelle is on?  Do you think she is always this calculating in real life or is this some kind of gamble for 15 seconds of fame on the Bachelor for being the crazy-of-all-crazies?  I mean, not only does she proclaim her and Brad in a fight because he's kissing other girls (umm, hello, are we not on the show The Bachelor?), she also creepily intrudes on other people's one-on-one times and proclaims feeling confident in front of everyone else. She is reality TV gold.

7- Chantal's dad passed away too?? Really? How many other girls are going to have sad sob stories that will be revealed? Oh well, tough girl has a heart of gold. I think she and Brad are going to go far.

8 - Oh look, there goes Ashley the dentist off the deep end because Brad is getting close to other girls.  Like we didn't see that one coming...

9 - I usually love the Bachelor producers for the endless hours of entertainment that they give me. However, putting poor Melanie - whoops, I mean, Emily - on a tiny private plane to go on her date with Brad was a really poor-in-taste move.  Having had her fiancee pass away via plane crash wasn't enough for you guys to pause for a second and advise Brad to choose another fantasy date for their one-on-one?  That was just a low blow.

10 - The fangs weren't real!!! They were clip-ons??

I Can't Promise That I Won't Suck Your Energy

To all two of you that read this blog, I apologize for the delay in posting my semi-put together thoughts on this week's episode.  My DVR failed me on Monday night and tragedy of tragedies, the episode failed to record, so I was forced to watch it online, which I finally got around to doing last night.  So, Kat - here are my top ten moments of this week's awesomeness.

1 - Thanks to Melissa I have a brand new favorite term - "Energy Suck".  I intend to try to use this term in my everyday life as eloquently as Melissa was able to cobble in between the 5000 words-per-minute she was spewing during her one-on-one times with Brad.  Part of me actually felt a little bit bad for her - but then that part started laughing and shaking its head with the other part of me.  I mean, seriously, I can't even capture the multiple personalities and rollercoaster of emotions that she covered in one episode.  And don't you think that if you were on the Bachelor, you would stay away from all onions and garlic like the plague?  Or at least refrain from revealing that detail to the Bachelor and a national TV viewing audience? Moving on...

2 - I think I was scared more for Ashley the dentist (is she really a dentist or is she a dental hygientist?? I need to do some investigating) when the light switched on and revealed a carnival date than when they were driving in the dark down a dirt road.  I don't know about you all, but when the carnival comes to town I think "death trap".  My sister almost flew out of a Scrammbler ride one time at a church carnival!

3 - My college roommates are saints.  Because when I turned 20, I freaked out.  I wasn't turning 19, and I wasn't turning 21, I was turning 2-0. Two decades old!! Moving officially out of my teens was a huge deal for me for some reason. And my lovely friends had to listen to me freak out for at least a month.  Girls, I can't promise you that I won't freak out about turning 30 next year, but I will promise that I won't do it on national television.  Thank you for loving me, birthday freak-outs and all!

4 - Jackie got to go to the Hollywood Bowl, wear a REALLY pretty dress, GORGEOUS jewels, receive a rose, and have dinner with a pretty hot guy.  The only thing that can ruin a dream date like that? Train performing live for you.  Sorry all you Train fans - after the second time I heard "Hey Soul Sister" an undying hatred of all Train music sprung up in my heart.  And the only thing worse is watching two very white people dance very awkwardly to non-danceable music.

5 - Chris Harrison + Bright Blue Shirt = me swooning on the couch.

6 - I guess since Ali actually picked a guy at the end of her season, she and Roberto qualify as being able to read people and determine who is here for the "right reasons".  Clearly, they will be able to determine this from two-on-one conversations that last about 30 seconds.  And clearly, Ali still has not gotten over her penchant for all things sparkly, off-shouldered, badly proportioned garments.  Her hair looked slightly better. I'll give her that.

7 - Besides Michelle's 5000 reminders that it was her birthday, she had many, many, many other moments.  Her weird rose-in-the-mouth dance after Brad gave her the birthday rose was pretty tasteless.  And then her stealing Brad away in mid-sentence to ask really important questions like "Starbucks or Coffee Bean?" and "What's in your fridge" was jaw-dropping psycho-manipulative.  She is a master at playing the game, you can tell.

8 - Getting to see Brad's abs.  Thanks ABC.

9 - Getting to see the terrible American Red Cross promotional ad that they filmed - I can't believe that they actually aired that during national TV.  Really American Red Cross? Really??

10 - Seeing in the promos for next week that my dream of Seal singing "Kiss on a Rose" acoustically to me will come true so soon!! Can't wait!

There were many other moments - too many to properly capture in writing. Let me know yours!  And while you're at it, be sure to check out these other amazing, more talented recappers:

Chris Harrison
Ihategreenbeans.com
Kristen Baldwin for Ew.com

Till next week (or next post :))

A New Year, A New(ish) Bachelor

While there are so many other great Bachelor blogger recaps out there, and while all of my fabulous friends are so hilarious with their commentaries and observations, I just have a few thoughts on this new season...

Highlight #1 - First five minutes of this season equaled every girl and woman's dream - Brad Womack - who is pretty easy on the eyes - not only shirtless, but also admitting his commitment issues, the neglect of his father, his own desire to be a dad, his admission of being in therapy for three years, and finally being ready to fall in love - and all in an easy Southern drawl.  I mean, come on - seriously??  The Bachelor just doesn't get any better than this!

Highlight #2 - DeAnna Pappas clearly hasn't gotten over being dumped on national TV.  She looked like she was ready to strangle Brad - despite her having "moved on" and being engaged to one of the Stagliano twins AND a previous 20/20 special in which she and Brad already had a "reunion".  Oh the joys of staged reality TV, how I love thee and your made-up drama!

Highlight #3 - Ashley the dentist making a fool of herself by dancing around in her underwear and oversized shirt for her 10-second spot in the "Get to know random facts about these poor bachelorettes" segment.

Highlight #4 - Madison the model who ends up having - FANGS!!! I mean seriously!? (And a kudos to Kristen Baldwin for making the Hot Topic reference in her recap - that was genius!)

Highlight #5 - It's a tie between the pillow that went over my face when the girl gets out of the limo and said "catch me!" and then proceeded to run and jump into Brad's arms, or the girl who rolled down the limo window, held out her hand, and insisted that Brad come get her out of the limo.

Highlight #6 - The fashion "marketer" 's hot pink wedges with her strapless black dress.  I don't know if it was highlight or an identity crisis, because in theory, I, out of all the people on this planet, should be the most supportive of a girl wearing bright pink wedges. But, ohmygosh, I don't think I've ever seen more hideous shoes on primetime television, except for maybe some shoes on "What Not to Wear".  I just don't see how someone in fashion could choose those shoes - with that dress!  Am I alone in this??

Highlight #7 - Scarlett O'Hara - oh, whoops, I mean Emily from Charlotte, NC - sad story was tragic.  But the highlight of it for me was figuring out that the "Ricky" that she was "engaged" or in a full-time relationship with and had his kid after he died in a plane crash, was none other than Ricky Hendricks, the up and coming NASCAR driver in 2004, son of Rick Hendricks, who operates one of the bigger racing teams in NASCAR.  Now, how did I figure that out?  I wish I could relate the way that random facts interact and coagulate in my brain - I really do, because then I would have a greater understanding of myself.  But if you google it, you will see that I am right. 

Highlight #8 - Not really a highlight, but more of an annoyance.  I cannot STAND the rockette, Keltie!!  There is just something about her that rubs me the wrong way.  Maybe it was the way that she was trying to drum up drama when that poor girl in the blue prom dress kept getting pushed away from her one-on-one time with Brad.  But either way, there's just something about her that I found really annoying.  I hope she is gone soon (with my luck, that won't be the case).

Highlight #9 - The highlights from the upcoming season revealing to me the lifelong dream I never knew that I had - Seal, singing live and acoustically, to me, "A Kiss On a Rose", through my television screen.  I can only hope that Heidi Klum will be somewhere in the wings to tell the hapless bachelorette on that date (because you know it will be one of those do or die bachelorette dates where they get sent home) to say "Auf Wiedersehen".

Highlight #10 - Chris Harrison's presence once again gracing my television screen.  Four months is just too long Chris - it's just too long!!

How about you - what were some of your favorite highlights from the 21st season of The Bachelor/ette franchise??!! PLEASE let me know :)

Two Thoughts for a Wednesday (Ok, maybe Three)

Sorry, if you're looking for deep, soul-illuminating thoughts, you're out of luck with me tonight.  Just a few quick thoughts and observations that I've had that I feel like putting out there for the world.

1 - Looking for something to watch on TV now that Lost and The Bachelorette are over?  Try the Bachelor Pad for a Elimindate meets Real World meets The Bachelor/ette.  Thank goodness it hasn't crossed the lines into "Flavor of Love" or "Rock of Love" territory yet (two scummy VH1 reality shows).  The operative word there is "Yet".  The redeeming element of the show is Our Host Chris Harrison.  Chris Harrison is just always awesome.  We're bffs in my head - we've had a long relationship - we even finish each other's sentences from time to time! Total Bff status.

Or check out any of the great, fun shows on USA - White Collar, Covert Affairs, Burn Notice (Michael Westin, I love you), Psych (one of the funniest shows on TV, seriously), and Royal Pains.  All have good storylines, fun characters, and are great clever shows.

2 - When I'm housesitting one of the things that I find myself doing is watching music videos on MTV's Comcast music video channel (MTV Hits).  Right now they are showing all the videos that have something to do with the VMAs - either as prior winners or are nominated in some category at this year's upcoming VMAs.  Watching them is like a recent history lesson.  Did you know that Aerosmith won the VMA Video of the Year in 1998?? I know. You feel old don't you?  Did you also know that Steven Tyler (rumored to be one of the new judges on American Idol) is quite the androgynous-looking fellow?  Did you know that Limp Bizkit won the VMA Video of the Year in 2000 AND 2001? I know. Can you believe that Limp Bizkit used to be considered worthy of getting a VMA? Let alone two of them?? No wonder Emimen had such a feud with Fred Durst.  After watching those videos I couldn't believe they actually were that popular!

You know what I also wish? That we could fast forward Justin Bieber 7 years, to when he is 20 years old and has gone through his hook-up with a former Disney channel starlet, and decides to collaborate with The Neptunes to put out his first CD as a solo artist, and then a few years later decides to work with Timbaland and puts out another really awesome album....OH, WHOOPS.  I just realized I was talking about Justin "JT" Timberlake.  Where are you Justin "JT"?? Can you please put out another album and quick so that I don't have to be assaulted by the crap that Justin Bieber is putting out there?  There are only so many "Baby, Oh Baby"s I can take.

Although, as an avid ABDC (as in America's Best Dance Crew) fan, I couldn't help but notice that my girls Beat Freaks and the Season 5 champs Poreotix are in the music video "Somebody to Love"! Go gals and guys - live the dream (even if it means dancing in a Justin Bieber video, ugh - at least Usher is also in it).

I'm looking forward to the VMAs this year - one can only hope that another Kayne-Taylor moment will occur! (You know that's what the execs at MTV are hoping for.)

3 - While this has been a great year in many, many ways, it also has been hard.  My best friend said the other day that 2010 will go down as the year of hard - not bad, just hard.  And I completely agree.  Which is why I'm looking forward to getting away for a week in a little bit.  It'll be a good time to rest, recuperate, read, think, pray, and write.

Annnd with 2 minutes to go, I'm done! Happy Thursday (only 2 more business days then it's the weekend!)!

Yeah, It's Pretty Intense Stuff...

The Bachelor/ette series have provided me with a host of favorite reality TV moments. From Ryan bequeathing a stuffed dolphin to Trista, to Jason Mesnick almost throwing himself off a balcony, to the guy ripping his shirt off and howling at the moon because he was (and always would be) a "lone wolf", and many "Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever"s, I have enjoyed quite a lot of laughter from this beloved franchise.  But last night's moment topped them all.  Hands down the funniest, most awkward thing I have ever watched.  THIS is the stuff that reality TV is made of.  Enjoy, and you're welcome for the next 5 minutes of laughter you will have.

Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - I went this past weekend to see the movie Avatar with my father.  Can I just say, ridiculous?  I've watched some bad movies in my life, and unfortunately this ranks right up there.  How it was even considered for a Best Picture Oscar is only testament to it's 3-D technology, visuals, and cinematography and definitely not its acting.  The story was probably ok, and maybe even good, but the actors who played the characters were so awful you couldn't appreciate the story.  But like I said, it was visually stunning, and even though I only got to see it in 2-D, you could guess why it was so interesting to watch in 3-D - and it was all because of the visuals.  So well-deserved and earned Oscars to the visual and cinematography teams of the movie.

2 - Dealing with the local town government of the place where I work is turning me into an anarchist who will be joining the militias in Montana.  It is utterly ridiculous the restrictions, paperwork, meetings, and hoops that must be jumped through in order to put a frickin' sign in front of a business.  And then you can't even put a sign that is big enough in front of your business or in your business's colors.  It is utterly ludicrous, an exercise in inanity, and God help me to find the patience for it.

3 - Yoga is soul-soothing.  The simple act of consciously breathing in and breathing out is restorative in the most profound way.  And it's not about competition - who is the most flexible or who can do the harder poses - it is about listening to and respecting the limits of your own body - challenging them yes, but not to the point of excruciating pain.  It completely turns upside down all that I have been taught by my wonderful, loving, former Marine Corp father, who instilled such maxims into me like "If you throw up, then you know you've left everything you have on the field" and "Do one more for the Marines".  It is about an awareness of your mind and body and what is going on within your body.  I am so in love with it.  If you live in the Warrenton area, I highly recommend that you visit my yoga studio, Transcendent Women at their Open House this Saturday, March 20th.

4 - Only 3 more days until the official start of the vernal equinox - the daffodils are pushing their way up through the ground, the birds chirping their beautiful melodies each morning, the sun shining gloriously in a brilliant blue sky, even a walk in a spring rain becomes refreshing and enjoyable, not annoying and miserable.  Goodbye long, long winter.  Hello long, sunshiney days.

5 - Only 8 more episodes of Lost and the ending to this 6 year metaphysical, spiritual, mysterious show.  I am going to be so sad and I have no idea how it is all going to end at this point.  Right now I feel as if I have more questions than answers or even a clue as to how the series will wrap up.  Will my world be blown to pieces (probably)?

6 - I fully admit to watching the 20/20 special on The Bachelor/Bachelorette series.  Do I feel ashamed? Not a bit.  I love this show for its ability to make me laugh at the antics of these people - it is so amazing.  The series executive producer definitely comes across as sketchy with a capital "S" and "Ketchy", and the behind the scenes look at the casting of these characters was fascinating.  I think I would probably rather claw my eyes out than watch the upcoming season of The Bachelorette with Ali though - I honestly don't know if I can stomach it.  But I know that inevitably I will get sucked in.

7 - Deadliest Catch will you please premiere soon? I miss you.

8 - Last and final thought. I keep reading or hearing things in our culture touting happiness as the ultimate goal in life and basing all decisions upon that goal.  It disheartens me.  I don't think happiness is a worthy goal to build a life around.  I think that there is something more, much more worth living worth, and happiness and her deeper persona, joy, are byproducts and emotions that ebb and flow.  Building a life centered around an emotion just seems to be a castle built in the sand.

On a Lighter Note...

For those of you who read this blog and don't want to read some thoughts on TV shows - please skip this post.

For all the others, keep reading :).

The Bachelorette - Hallelujah and Amen. The Bachelorette is back on!! I enjoy these installments of the The Bachelor franchise so much more than the actual "The Bachelor" series because watching a bunch of guys compete over a girl, who they probably wouldn't even care about if they weren't all thrown together in this scenario, is absolutely hilarious. Though there were no gems like last year's "Lone Wolf", there was just the same amount of hilarity to be had by all. My favorite part of the night had to be watching one of the bachelors try to teach Jillian, the latest Bachelorette, how to break-dance (which, again for regular readers, know that breakers are near and dear to my heart). THEN, as if that wasn't enough, another one of the bachelors had to go and challenge the guy to a DANCE-OFF!! Yes my friends, there was a BREAK-DANCING DANCE-OFF on The Bachelorette. It was the perfect convergence of two loves of my life. Mr. Break-dance master is clearly my favorite and here's hoping that he stinks around for a while. AND if the montage is any indication, there is lots of drama to look forward too! Yay!!

Lost - Are there really words to describe how empty my life now feels with the end of season 5? Probably. But I can't think of them right now. Suffice to say, I wish they made a special hibernation chamber or a deep-9 months effective sleeping pill so that I could just let life fast-forward and pass me by until January 2010 when season 6 debuts and I can find out why in the world they blanked the screen to white! *sigh* At least soul-crushing winter will be alleviated by its return :).

The Hills - I'm ashamed to even write those words here on this blog, but alas, I do tune in to this show - though lately I've been questioning my sanity for doing so. It all has to do with LC - she's the only reason I tune in - the show is going to stink when she is gone. But the only reason I mention it is because LC's last two episodes EVER are upcoming. What will I do when I can't watch the unrealistic, scripted lives of C-list MTV-made celebrities?

America's Best Dance Crew - I probably plug this show every time that I get a chance, but the season 1 re-runs were on this weekend and my DVR recorded it again and I got to bask in the awesome-ness of Jabbawockeez, Kaba Modern, and BreakSk8 again and marvel at how Status Quo got to the finals. Seriously, the "Thriller" episode is probably one of the best episodes of all three seasons. Watching Kaba Modern re-interpret the "Thriller" video is a must-see. I just love this show.

There are others that maybe I should mention, but those are the only ones that captured my attention thus far this week. Oh Bachelorette - thank you. Thank you for such a night of awesome hilarity.

This Week's Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - It is crazy how fast time flies. I cannot believe that it is already March 11th, full on into the second week of March. On the other hand, I am infinitely happy that it is March and that spring is right around the corner - oh how I cannot wait for springtime!! Green trees, green leaves, green grass, green, green, green - The color just refreshes and rejuvenates me!

2 - Well, ABDC finally concluded last week, and I am heartbroken. I don't know how I am going to get through Thursday now that I don't have it to look forward to once I finally get home from work. My prediction did turn out to be correct, and it was Beat Freaks and Quest Crew in the finale. It wasn't a really hard prediction to make, as they were above and beyond the other crews in my opinion, although this season of ABDC was really the best that I have seen. I will always have a soft spot for JabbaWockeez and Super Crew (throw the "S" to the chest!), but the crews on this season were phenomenal by virtue of both their abililty and creativity. I won't give away who won, but honestly, I think it should have been a draw - they are both THAT talented. *Sigh* Now, please excuse me while I go cry until the next season premieres.

3 - Lost is still the best written show on TV, but I am ticked that I have to wait another week till a new episode! What the hay ABC?? Didn't you start the whole season late so that we didn't have to wait??! Not fair...

4 - The World Baseball Classic is going on right now and it is frickin' awesome (spring AND baseball?? I'm in heaven)! The USA actually made it the next round, but what is MORE surprising is that the Dominican Republic team was eliminated!! By the NETHERLANDS!? Say what!?!? Amazing and awesome. Who says baseball is not a world sport, especially when Japan had 4,000 people show up to watch their practice (PRACTICE) session?

5 - I really am super-ready for summer baseball season to begin. Watching the WBC and all this beautiful weather has me antsy to be outside, watching a good game, interacting with all my baseball peeps, and watching my little happy campers run amok at the games.

6 - Speaking of it being March, March Madness is almost here! So excited - it's one of my favorite times of the year. I watched a little bit of the Horizon League Championship game last night (gotta watch those 13 seeds!) and watching the passion and intensity of play in that game was so cool - there's just nothing like it. So I'm sharpening my pencil in anticipation and hope that my picks will catapult me to the top of my office pool!! (Bright-side of downsizing - I now have a better chance of winning the office pool! Before I get laid off too!)

7 - Bachelorgate last week was RI-DI-CU-LOUS. I mean COME ON people, this IS the Bachelor! The After the Final Rose show is usually just a farce - I'm just glad that it was as entertaining as it really was! I feel sorry that Melissa was dumped on national TV, but she did sign up for a reality dating show in the first place! I just think it has been hilarious watching the fallout from it all - so much so that ABC is now milking it to the max and putting Melissa on Dancing With the Stars (which ironically, for all my love of dance shows, I really don't like).

8 - I have a lot of thoughts for this Wednesday, don't I?

9 - After watching the Red Bull BC One, I have decided that if I believed in reincarnation, I would want to come back to earth as a B-Boy. Being 27, I think I have missed out on this dream, but man oh man, how I wish I knew about it back when I was a kid (dang sheltered CT childhood). I don't think I would have been any good at it, but who knows? Maybe I would have actually developed a sense of rhythm or something? Anyway, those guys are all so cool and I just wish I had a smidgen of their talent, but alas, just like ABDC, I am relegated to just uber-appreciating their amazing skill and creativity. Maybe I can somehow become their best friend? Or figure out how to just get in the audience of one of those shows, because those people looked so cool.

10 - I feel like I should say something about the economy, work, world events, Obama, the stimulus bill, etc, but honestly, I just find the whole lot so depressing that I don't want to think about it or write about it today.

So, sorry for no deep thoughts or anything today. I'm sure those will come at some point, but honestly, it's hard to have time for any of those these days. It's just so much easier to be entertained by entertainment. Besides, once we officially get out of winter and well into spring/summer (since spring really only lasts a day in Virginia and then it's hello humidity), I'll be able to think more clearly. Winter is so tough for me to get through - I need to become like my sister and just perpetuate an endless summer for the rest of my life. Thank goodness for spring, green, and blue sunny skies right around the corner!!

The Most Dramatic Rose Finale, EVER!

Sorry to the hordes of readers out there who are dying for my thoughts on the stimulus package, events in Pakistan, the Israeli-Palestinian elections, A-Rod's (or should I say, A-Roid's) juicing confession, and the Oscars. Last night, with the promise of the most dramatic After the Final Rose, the little show that is a staple of reality TV, The Bachelor, launched itself into realms of controversy unforeseen, that it has now topped the previous most dramatic moment of the show's history, Brad Womack's dumping (or duping) of his final two girls in the finale.

Now, to be completely honest, I have mostly followed this season through Entertainment Weekly's awesome recaps, written by Kristen Baldwin. The girl summarizes everything for me, with my exact thoughts in her commentary, only written in a much more hilarious way, that I didn't even need to watch the show. I also was following Chris Harrison's blog, who in and of himself is a pop culture phenom (I wish I had a job in which I clink wine glasses and say, "Ladies, Bachelor, The Final Rose..."). Futhermore, the said Bachelor, Jason Mesnick, was not a fav of mine during his stint on the season of The Bachelorette with DeAnna Pappas, so I wasn't that excited to watch him this season and didn't want to commit myself (Now, if it had been Graham, I might have tried to sign up for the show). However, I did know that DeAnna was to make an appearance on this season of The Bachelor, and as the recaps and weeks progressed, it became apparent that that moment would not happen until the finale, so I had to tune in for the last show (actually, DVR it - there's only so much filler one can take!!).

BUT, the thing that really got my interest was Chris Harrison promising in his blog a couple of weeks beforehand that something extreme would happen in the After The Final Rose, that was SO shocking and SO dramatic; that nothing of the sort had happened in Bachelor history before; that it shocked HIM. NOW that teaser was enough to start getting the comment boards popping over at EW.com! My fav theory was that one of the girls was preggers (kudos to T for coming up with that one) and it would serve all those "fantasy suite" dates right (real life=real consequences, ABC - let's try to come up with this twist next season!).

Well, the moment arrived last night. I watched, along with everyone else, the (actual) sweet proposal of Jason to Melissa, how happy they were, how happy she was, the ridiculous engagement ring, the jumping into the pool with really expensive clothes on, dragging little Ty into the pool with them. I saw DeAnna try to crawl back into Jason's arms and him have none of it (kudos to the producers for the first camera shot being her face seen through a security camera - that was hilarious!!). I watched with everyone else Molly warn Jason that he was making a mistake - a big mistake, and him almost throw himself over the balcony once he rejected her and put her in the limo. And then, after the final rose was accepted, the screen went right into the After The Final Rose - and the craziness started!

Jason totally did a 180 on Melissa, dumped her on national TV, and we watched the poor girl go through the shock of what he did to her, helplessly on the sidelines. Kudos to Mel for saying "Bastard" on television, and then proceeding to tell him to not call, text, email, or in any way shape or form, try to contact her again. Poor thing left thinking there was something wrong with her, when in reality, Jason just changed his mind, or rather, couldn't let the thought of the other girl (Molly) go. THEN Molly came out, proceeded to say how she wish Jason would call her or text her or something to let her know why she was K.O. in the finale and how she wish she could hear him say that he had made a mistake. Well girl, you must have a genie in your pocket (or Christina Aguilera playing Genie in a Bottle), because you got your wish!! Jason totally went from breaking the heart of one girl to re-choosing the girl he originally dumped. Say WHAT?? Oh it was so awesome, it was a work of Bachelor beauty. Kudos Chris Harrison - you were right - this was something that we have never actually seen on an episode of The Bachelor.

What has been fascinating though is how this turn of events has exploded across the internet and lit up the message boards everywhere!! This show is in its what, tenth, twelfth, thirteenth season? And it just became a pop culture phenom with last night's turn of events - who knew!? It really has shocked me, more than the turn of the events last night (which were just predictable, except with maybe that in six weeks Jason fell out of love with Melissa - ie, six weeks in the real world and they were toast).

That all being said, I totally cannot wait for tonight's edition of the After After The Final Rose - Jason gots some 'xplain to do!!

Oh this show. From Aaron to Trista to Firestone to Byron to Bob all the way to DeAnna - oh VH1, please bring the re-runs back! :) And Graham, wherever you are, you are still way hot.