Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - Ladies and Gentlemen, Oceanic Flight 815 is about to make it's final descent.  Last night's episode, "Happily Ever After" was my favorite of the season thus far (only equaled by Richard Alpert's backstory - oh Richard, how I love thee).  But any episode with my future husband, Mr. Desmond David Hume,  is guaranteed to be a great one - did you catch all the nuisances and lines from previous episodes and seasons that were uttered?  I'm glad to see that finally the Sideways world and the Island world merging and coming to a conclusion.  It's like "Yes, please tell me the end!!" intermingled with "No, I don't want it to end!!" I find myself living in between two worlds! (And apologies to all those who read this blog and that paragraph just made utterly no sense to you).

2 - I was driving today back from lunch and had this epiphany (I have a lot of epiphanies while driving) that I feel like I am finally growing up and becoming my own person, my own woman.  I feel like I'm beginning to finally understand "who" I am and what I want.  And I can't put this feeling into any concrete words other than just this general feeling of latent confidence.  I read all these quotes from fashion designers or stylists or magazine writers that say that confidence is the sexiest part of a woman, or as Nina Garcia says, "Confidence is captivating, it is powerful, and it does not fade - and that is endlessly more interesting than beauty."  I don't think I've ever understood what that means, to have confidence.  But I'm beginning to think that it's an attitude that understands who you are and accepts and loves yourself for who you are.  I can count on my hand the numbers of times that I've felt that way - most of them as a result of traveling somewhere by myself - but I'm beginning to feel this way in my everyday life.  It feels good to begin to understand who you are.

3 - If you read this blog at all, you know my love of dance.  Well this weekend I had the pleasure of watching another dance performance, this dedicated to the art of tango.  It is a beautiful, sexy dance that makes me wish I could move my feet with any kind of rhythm (in my Sideways world life maybe?).  But what is even more fun to have a tango attitude - overly dramatic, sexy, stalking-esque, and lots of pointed toes.  And when you try tangoing inanimate objects, life becomes very fun.  Point in case, this photo of me "tangoing" my wall, or as my friend said, my self-timer - either way, a tango attitude brings a lot of sexy to a moment.

4 - You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child?  I would like to coin a new saying, "It takes a village to take care of a single woman."  Because without the generosity and love of my family and friends, I wonder how I would eat or exist and live the amazing, wonderful life I am blessed with.  The only reason I can begin to have confidence in who I am is because of being loved by all the wonderful people who I am lucky to call family and friends.

5 - I hope everyone had a wonderful, blissful, and blessed Easter this past weekend!  I was blessed to spend the entire day with my family (minus my sister who is living Down Under) and most of that day was spent outside on my parents' new screened in porch and patio that they added to the house right before winter came.  This was the first weekend that we all got to sit out there and it was so lovely.  My parents even got a fire pit and we got to toast marshmallows (or actually, as my mom and prefer them, marshmallow a flambeau) and sit around the fire pit enjoying each other's company and the beautiful night time sky.  It was the perfect day and a memory that I will always treasure.

6 - WWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  Yes, folks, I did indeed triumph and win my office's NCAA pool!!!  After 5 1/2 years and coming close a few of those years, I finally won!! Unreal.  It marks the second time in my life that I have won an NCAA pool and so awesome.  The ironic thing is that I missed the entire tournament - I did not watch one single game, not even the championship game.  Yes, seriously.  Hey, what can I say - I'm a busy girl?

7 - And Hallelujah, Baseball is back!!!!!! A piece of my life that was missing is finally back.  Long summer nights, dramatic games, every pitch meaning something, the entire pace of a game switching in a heartbeat - there is nothing more excitedly boring to watch than baseball.  My goal is to make it to a Yankees game this year, as well as more than one Nationals game.  I probably have a better chance of succeeding at making it to a Nats game than the Yanks, but who knows?

8 - And spring is officially here!  Really and truly, my heart was rejoicing this morning as I was driving into my office.  There is nothing more beautiful than seeing the trees blossom into amazing green goodness and beauty, interspersed with flowers everywhere - pink, white, yellow, purple - all these amazing gorgeous colors.  The beauty of spring truly makes my heart sing.  Allelulia - the long winter is over and the promise and hope of resurrection yet again bursts forth with song and beauty.

This Week's Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - It is crazy how fast time flies. I cannot believe that it is already March 11th, full on into the second week of March. On the other hand, I am infinitely happy that it is March and that spring is right around the corner - oh how I cannot wait for springtime!! Green trees, green leaves, green grass, green, green, green - The color just refreshes and rejuvenates me!

2 - Well, ABDC finally concluded last week, and I am heartbroken. I don't know how I am going to get through Thursday now that I don't have it to look forward to once I finally get home from work. My prediction did turn out to be correct, and it was Beat Freaks and Quest Crew in the finale. It wasn't a really hard prediction to make, as they were above and beyond the other crews in my opinion, although this season of ABDC was really the best that I have seen. I will always have a soft spot for JabbaWockeez and Super Crew (throw the "S" to the chest!), but the crews on this season were phenomenal by virtue of both their abililty and creativity. I won't give away who won, but honestly, I think it should have been a draw - they are both THAT talented. *Sigh* Now, please excuse me while I go cry until the next season premieres.

3 - Lost is still the best written show on TV, but I am ticked that I have to wait another week till a new episode! What the hay ABC?? Didn't you start the whole season late so that we didn't have to wait??! Not fair...

4 - The World Baseball Classic is going on right now and it is frickin' awesome (spring AND baseball?? I'm in heaven)! The USA actually made it the next round, but what is MORE surprising is that the Dominican Republic team was eliminated!! By the NETHERLANDS!? Say what!?!? Amazing and awesome. Who says baseball is not a world sport, especially when Japan had 4,000 people show up to watch their practice (PRACTICE) session?

5 - I really am super-ready for summer baseball season to begin. Watching the WBC and all this beautiful weather has me antsy to be outside, watching a good game, interacting with all my baseball peeps, and watching my little happy campers run amok at the games.

6 - Speaking of it being March, March Madness is almost here! So excited - it's one of my favorite times of the year. I watched a little bit of the Horizon League Championship game last night (gotta watch those 13 seeds!) and watching the passion and intensity of play in that game was so cool - there's just nothing like it. So I'm sharpening my pencil in anticipation and hope that my picks will catapult me to the top of my office pool!! (Bright-side of downsizing - I now have a better chance of winning the office pool! Before I get laid off too!)

7 - Bachelorgate last week was RI-DI-CU-LOUS. I mean COME ON people, this IS the Bachelor! The After the Final Rose show is usually just a farce - I'm just glad that it was as entertaining as it really was! I feel sorry that Melissa was dumped on national TV, but she did sign up for a reality dating show in the first place! I just think it has been hilarious watching the fallout from it all - so much so that ABC is now milking it to the max and putting Melissa on Dancing With the Stars (which ironically, for all my love of dance shows, I really don't like).

8 - I have a lot of thoughts for this Wednesday, don't I?

9 - After watching the Red Bull BC One, I have decided that if I believed in reincarnation, I would want to come back to earth as a B-Boy. Being 27, I think I have missed out on this dream, but man oh man, how I wish I knew about it back when I was a kid (dang sheltered CT childhood). I don't think I would have been any good at it, but who knows? Maybe I would have actually developed a sense of rhythm or something? Anyway, those guys are all so cool and I just wish I had a smidgen of their talent, but alas, just like ABDC, I am relegated to just uber-appreciating their amazing skill and creativity. Maybe I can somehow become their best friend? Or figure out how to just get in the audience of one of those shows, because those people looked so cool.

10 - I feel like I should say something about the economy, work, world events, Obama, the stimulus bill, etc, but honestly, I just find the whole lot so depressing that I don't want to think about it or write about it today.

So, sorry for no deep thoughts or anything today. I'm sure those will come at some point, but honestly, it's hard to have time for any of those these days. It's just so much easier to be entertained by entertainment. Besides, once we officially get out of winter and well into spring/summer (since spring really only lasts a day in Virginia and then it's hello humidity), I'll be able to think more clearly. Winter is so tough for me to get through - I need to become like my sister and just perpetuate an endless summer for the rest of my life. Thank goodness for spring, green, and blue sunny skies right around the corner!!

Baseball Sadness

Last week saw the conclusion of Major League Baseball's World Series, the Fall Classic. This year, even though my beloved Yankees didn't even make it to the playoffs, I thoroughly enjoyed watching both the American and National League Championship Series, as well as the World Series itself. And in the baseball world, the World Series concluded in a dramatic and convoluted fashion - which is fitting, considering the political environment we find ourselves in.


I found it so ironic that the officiating during the World Series was about on par with the officiating that I see day in and day out for two months during the summer - absolutely terrible. We expect perfection from umpires, who are only human in the end, and hate it when they blow calls. There is no other game that has such subjective officiating, especially in terms of calling strikes or balls, and that in and of itself makes the game that much more dramatic. The strike zones of the officials in Philadelphia were ridiculous - the Rays' pitchers totally were hosed by the calls that the umpires made and that wasn't cool. It should have been a much tighter series than it was, but all being said, with the exception of the blowout of Game 4, each game was only decided by one or two runs - which speaks to the level of quality baseball being played by both teams.

I wish the Rays had found a way, but that Cole Hamels was lights out. And I love it when I see a well-pitched game. I wish Cole Hamels had pitched a complete game in the Series, much like Josh Beckett did when he was on the Marlins against the Yankees five years ago (seriously - five years - ugh, I'm so old).

It does make me sad that baseball is over - though it truly was over for me at the beginning of August. The end of baseball is always the harbinger of my Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder kicking in for the cold months, dark nights, and limited light of the day. At least spring training is not too far away. :)

Close Encounters of the Artistic Kind

This weekend I had the opportunity to go visit two of my best friends, Matt and T (Laura) Slagel, in their newish (they've been there for about a year now) home in Charleston. While traveling was a bit of a nightmare (I don't want to be in the vicinity of an airport for a while) and the weather wasn't great (rained for most of the weekend), we still got to have a great time in the city. One of the best parts of the trip was a "Taste of Charleston" art walk. T knows how much I love art and free food, so it was pretty much guaranteed to be fantastic. What neither of us knew was just exactly how fantastic.

To set this up properly, I must give a little background. Each art gallery (and there are a ton in Charleston!) had restaurants come and cater some hors d'everues and offer free libations (water and wine). You could consume as much or as little as you liked and view the different offerings of the artists in Charleston. I also think the hope on the artists' part is that you consume enough of the libations offered that while loosening up your tongue, it also has the same effect on your wallet. Some of the art galleries actually had the artists present so that you could speak to them about their work, which was very, very neat. Some of the pieces of art are more interesting than others, some more generic beach scenes. There were a few that I really responded to with their movement and colors. I kind of like to feel my art more than look at it, if that makes any sense. That is why I love modern art, like Jackson Pollock and Willem de Kooning. But none of the art that I saw in the first two galleries we visited even came close to that experience. But then we visited the third gallery.

Oh. My. Goodness.


First, as we start in to the gallery, walking up the stairs to it, the artist was there leading some people out and walked with us up to the gallery. Then as we get in to the gallery, it didn't take long to realize that it was actually the guy's apartment as well as his gallery. And then he started speaking. I have never felt so off balance my entire life. This guy was so passionate, so into his work, so into the creation process of his art work. He apparently has taken 4 years of his life to decode the four elementals to invent a new creation process with oils and acrylics that he can manipulate to his will and make them into whatever he desires. I am still trying to quite figure out what that means, but it was pretty intense from his description. And the art is absolutely beautiful - I am in love with it. He said that you wouldn't find anything else like it in Charleston, and he was right - I did not see anything that remotely resembled his work in any of the other galleries. But he spoke so fast, so passionately, and fired questions at all three of us without pause, that my brain felt like it was always three steps behind whatever he was saying. He called my feet "paws" while remarking on my chipped purple toe nail polish. He talked about balance and elements and movement and "pop" and my head was spinning and it was Africa hot in his apartment and I was so confused and then we were saying our goodbyes, got his card, and walked out into the relatively cool Charleston air. If you think of every stereotype there is for an artist this guy fit it, but he was so amazing.

He may be my soulmate, but like the 150% percent soulmate of the artistic, creative part of my soul. I don't think he would do anything for the part of my soul that loves sports and baseball (the best game in the world Josh Hayden). But it was a crazy experience and I loved/was confused by every minute of it. I don't know his name - the name on his card is Iamikan, but I just can't believe that that is his real name. But whoever he is, he made quite an impression, I am in love with his hella-expensive art, and I hope that I get to talk to him again some day.

Speaking of the sports part of my soul, the current LCS playoff series just confirms that there really is not a more exciting or dramatic game than a well-played baseball game. You just can't beat it. I am firmly on the Rays bandwagon and hope they beat the flippin' tar out of the cursed and hated Red Sox. Go Rays!

Writer's Block

I have a hard time articulating my thoughts. Even writing them down, which is usually an outlet for me to express what is going on in my head, sometimes just does not suffice. And so, I find that I have very little to say at all today. There are things that are going on in my life, but I don't know if I find them particularly interesting enough to throw up to the whole wide world. But since I have not posted in a while, I'll attempt to give shape to the things and thoughts in my head.

I guess the biggest thing going on in my life is that I am looking to buy a house and enter into the realm of "homeowner". I have been thinking about this for a while, and have expedited that thought process over the past couple of months and have come to the conclusion that now is the time to buy, and I can actually afford to do so - which I didn't think would be the case. But it is, and that is really exciting. I do have to say that looking at the places that I can afford has been a little disheartening, because they all require work to be done to them. As I think about it though, it could be an exciting challenge because I can tailor this place to fit me.

My biggest prayer for this place though has been that it just not be for me, but that it be a "haven" for others. I love having people over and I want people to be able to come to this place and feel a sense of peace, beauty, and refuge. The fact that I can buy a home is such a gift, and I want to share that gift with others.

The other big thing going on in my life is a restoration of my relationship with God. I have done a lot of reading lately (Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge, The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg) and I can just hear God speaking through the pages, appealing to my heart, and saying "See? This is what I want for you. Leave your worries, your temptations, your weaknesses behind. Walk with Me. Listen to Me." I also have been listening to John Elredge's podcast excerpts from his new book, Walking with God and those have been so satisfying and convicting to listen to. I have this feeling of being on a cusp, like I am not quite there yet, but I am getting "there" - to wherever it is that God wants me to be.

I guess I also have a lot of fear right now - fear for how time keeps slipping away (cannot believe that it is the seventh day of May already) and fear for all the things that are looming ahead, most particularly baseball. The baseball summer season always does a number on me - mentally, emotionally, and physically. Time goes into hyperactive speed and yet slows to a crawl all at the same time. People keep asking me, "you don't have to go to all the games, do you?" The answer is that I don't know - based on five years of prior history, the answer is probably yes. And yet, as much as I fear it, I absolutely love it. I don't have any good reason to love it as I do, but I just can't seem to walk away from it. Because somehow the love for summer baseball seeped way down into my pores and into my being. The crack of a wooden bat, long summer nights, lots of laughter, ammoral baseball boys, and a semi-command of the game and everything that goes into producing it, keeps me tied to this love-hate relationship.

The last major thing going on is the non-stop action with our new business venture, Signature WoodCrafters. If I'm not thinking about God, a new house, or life, I'm dwelling on WoodCrafters. I love being in the midst of this, and I love the potentials that this venture has. Things are absolutely crazy, but I would rather have crazy than bored any day. Check out the links on the side here for our webpage (which is a work in process) or blog (comments are welcome!) to see some of the new stuff that we have done! It is amazing what we have done in a few short months. And I can't wait to look back at this year and be amazed at all that I have learned and what we have accomplished together as a team with this new business.

Sales, Crossroads, and Baseball

Last weekend was such a fun weekend. I got to go out on Saturday with my boss and another coworker to make homeowner sales calls and it was so much fun. These sales are all about connecting with people on a personal level and trying to educate them on our product. Our new business hasn't gotten to the point where we're going door-to-door like used vaccuum cleaner salesmen - we just go to people's houses who have contacted us about our product. The fun part for me, since I don't have much technical knowledge was just learning about the actual product that we are selling and realizing that we have the potential to kill the market with our product. I also loved going to people's houses and seeing how different each homeowner's sense of style was - and how their homes reflected their personality.

Sunday though - Sunday was a breath of fresh air. I got to go to my church in Charlottesville that I went to when I lived there and it was like going home. I belonged there and I love the pastor and his message and how the Holy Spirit's presence is just so evident! There is not a church that I have been in that I have truly felt God's presence other than this church. It is almost physically painful thinking about going to St. John's where everything feels so dead. Father Gregory has truly created a beautiful community who's focus is both on Christ, each other, and the larger Charlottesville community. God just has a beautiful way of speaking through Fr. Gregory and straight to my heart. This week he talked about being at a crossroads - that Easter and the Resurrection has provided us all with a new choice - we can walk with life, seeking to live in Christ's way, to believe in Christ and who He said He was, and to serve and love each other. Or we can ignore what we have heard and continue to live life our own way.

I really identified with this message, mainly because of the use of the analogy of the crossroads, because I feel as if I am in a crossroads sort of place myself. The path I have been walking along recently has split itself into several different other paths and I have to decide which one I'm going to walk along. It is a very tough decision, but I think I have picked one and have dedicated myself to pursuing it, which is both exciting and scary. I am housesitting this weekend and so hope to examine my decision some more and figure out the best way to pursue it.

I am also currently reading a John Ortberg called "The Life You've Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People" and I really, really like it. It has sparked a lot of thoughts and ideas of things that I want to pursue in order to experience my relationship with Christ on another level. For so long I feel like I have just been pulling at straws and not pursuing a relationship with my Creator. But, like the crossroads that I am at, I feel like this is another part of the path that I have chosen - a desire to deepen my relationship with Christ.

Lastly, I am so ready for summer baseball to start. For the first time in a long time, I'm not really dreading this season - I'm excited for it. Maybe I'm just crazy and am turning into a workaholic, but there is this part of me that just wants to be outside, watching a good baseball game. I also have realized that I am a baseball snob, because when I actually got to go to a college baseball game this past Tuesday, I wished that I was hearing the crack of a wood bat instead of the ping of the metal bats that they use in college. I guess I'll have to make my way over to the new Nats stadium till June 1st rolls around...

Heavy Heart...

Today is a black day for Major League Baseball. The Mitchell Report, a 400+ page document, came out detailing the use of steroids and named the names of allegedly 80 players that George Mitchell was able to confirm used steroids.

The fact that there are MLB players that have used steroids is not a surprise. Anybody who looks at Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, or Jason Giambi three years ago, cannot have a hint of doubt.

What hurts me as a fan though is learning that some of the best pitchers in the game, Roger Clemens and Andy Petitte, were also users.

*Sigh*

Pitchers have a special place in my heart. To me, a well-pitched game is the most exciting thing in all of baseball. Forget the homerun. Homeruns are overrated. But a guy who can pitch a full nine innings is a hero - bar none. A guy who can load the bases but then battle all the way back to strike the next three hitters out is a hero. Pitching makes or breaks the game (caveat - you do need to have good hitters - but if you have great pitching, you don't need great hitters - just good hitters). There is nothing more exciting than a pitcher's duel. That is why, though Josh Beckett is now a hated Red Sox, I still love him - he is one of the most awesome pitchers in the game right now.

That is why this hits me so hard. Being a diehard Yankees fan, I have to live with the hatred of everyone for their dominance in baseball. Now I learn that players on my beloved team, and pitchers nonetheless, cheated!! I mean even Chuck Knoblauch was named!! Knoblauch! The disappointment and hurt runs deep.

I just hope that in the end, all the youth and college ballplayers that I come in touch with, will take this whole scandal as a warning and not try to cheat the game. I have seen quite a few of the college guys come through who were so big, that it just isn't natural. I hope that they realize that the path they are walking on is a perilous one before it is too late.

That hope is what makes the disappointment and hurt less painful.