Monday, January 30, 2012

Some Unsolicited Career Advice

Dear Elyse on the Bachelor,

When you leave your job to go on the "Bachelor" to "find" "love", please be square with us. Please know that the viewers who are watching this are seasoned, sarcastic TV aficionados and we all know that you are just on the show to try to get some reality 15 minutes of fame - which is really 15 seconds - and you are going to end up on the next season of the Bachelor Pad for two episodes. Please don't try to elicit sympathy from us for your moronic move to leave your job that you "love." If you really loved it, if you really had passion for it, you would never have entertained the thought of leaving Florida to go on a reality show where you are guaranteed almost anything other than falling in love with the Bachelor.

Your Career Counselor

PS - When you come across as mean, jealous, and highly emotional on national TV, it will probably not bode well for you in the future.
PPS - When you state that you have already done everything that you want to do in life, you need to dream bigger dreams.

Salacious Skinny Dipping. The sullying of humanitarian Roberto Clemente's name by being mentioned on The Bachelor. David Gray's "This Year's Love," a twelve-year old song that I first started listening to 11 years ago. Awful satin one shoulder dresses. Neon Yellow fingernails. Gorgeous Puerto Rico. VIP Cocktail Waitresses being revealed for their true profession. Using "spending more time with" someone to rationalize doing bad things that you feel crappy about the next day. "Winning". Stomachs turning. Hyper-ventilating, teary-eyed drama.

All in a night's episode. It's good to know that there are some things that you can always count on in life.

PS - Does anyone else think that Casey S. looks like Paris Hilton?
PPS - TOTALLY shocked that boring Josh Groban kicked cute Jennifer to the proverbial curb! Whoa!
PPPS - Was anyone else reminded of Joe Millionaire during the whole skinny dipping episode? (Kudos to those who actually remember Joe Millionaire)

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