Thursday, January 13, 2011
I Can't Promise That I Won't Suck Your Energy
1 - Thanks to Melissa I have a brand new favorite term - "Energy Suck". I intend to try to use this term in my everyday life as eloquently as Melissa was able to cobble in between the 5000 words-per-minute she was spewing during her one-on-one times with Brad. Part of me actually felt a little bit bad for her - but then that part started laughing and shaking its head with the other part of me. I mean, seriously, I can't even capture the multiple personalities and rollercoaster of emotions that she covered in one episode. And don't you think that if you were on the Bachelor, you would stay away from all onions and garlic like the plague? Or at least refrain from revealing that detail to the Bachelor and a national TV viewing audience? Moving on...
2 - I think I was scared more for Ashley the dentist (is she really a dentist or is she a dental hygientist?? I need to do some investigating) when the light switched on and revealed a carnival date than when they were driving in the dark down a dirt road. I don't know about you all, but when the carnival comes to town I think "death trap". My sister almost flew out of a Scrammbler ride one time at a church carnival!
3 - My college roommates are saints. Because when I turned 20, I freaked out. I wasn't turning 19, and I wasn't turning 21, I was turning 2-0. Two decades old!! Moving officially out of my teens was a huge deal for me for some reason. And my lovely friends had to listen to me freak out for at least a month. Girls, I can't promise you that I won't freak out about turning 30 next year, but I will promise that I won't do it on national television. Thank you for loving me, birthday freak-outs and all!
4 - Jackie got to go to the Hollywood Bowl, wear a REALLY pretty dress, GORGEOUS jewels, receive a rose, and have dinner with a pretty hot guy. The only thing that can ruin a dream date like that? Train performing live for you. Sorry all you Train fans - after the second time I heard "Hey Soul Sister" an undying hatred of all Train music sprung up in my heart. And the only thing worse is watching two very white people dance very awkwardly to non-danceable music.
5 - Chris Harrison + Bright Blue Shirt = me swooning on the couch.
6 - I guess since Ali actually picked a guy at the end of her season, she and Roberto qualify as being able to read people and determine who is here for the "right reasons". Clearly, they will be able to determine this from two-on-one conversations that last about 30 seconds. And clearly, Ali still has not gotten over her penchant for all things sparkly, off-shouldered, badly proportioned garments. Her hair looked slightly better. I'll give her that.
7 - Besides Michelle's 5000 reminders that it was her birthday, she had many, many, many other moments. Her weird rose-in-the-mouth dance after Brad gave her the birthday rose was pretty tasteless. And then her stealing Brad away in mid-sentence to ask really important questions like "Starbucks or Coffee Bean?" and "What's in your fridge" was jaw-dropping psycho-manipulative. She is a master at playing the game, you can tell.
8 - Getting to see Brad's abs. Thanks ABC.
9 - Getting to see the terrible American Red Cross promotional ad that they filmed - I can't believe that they actually aired that during national TV. Really American Red Cross? Really??
10 - Seeing in the promos for next week that my dream of Seal singing "Kiss on a Rose" acoustically to me will come true so soon!! Can't wait!
There were many other moments - too many to properly capture in writing. Let me know yours! And while you're at it, be sure to check out these other amazing, more talented recappers:
Kristen Baldwin for Ew.com
Till next week (or next post :))