Thursday, January 10, 2008

[Insert Creative Title Here]

First, I want to give a shout-out to my buddy Josh Hayden, over at Moments of Recognition. He has been blogging about some really thought-provoking, heavy theological stuff that is apparently been going on in Young Life that I had no clue about. Josh has been great in posting about this issue and though I don't have a complete grasp on what the issues are, I appreciate the discussion and thinking that the discussion provokes. It is always good to examine the reasons behind the things that we do. The way that my brain works is that it necessitates that everything I do have an ultimate purpose behind it - a big-picture view. I can't do things (and often stubbornly resist) without seeing the "why" behind it. Which is why I appreciate Josh's posts - they have been helping me to think through issues that contribute to the big picture of YL ministry in my life. So, many thanks Josh!!

Second, I think I have a serious problem with accepting change in my life. I have always found it difficult to adjust to change - I think the fact that the first big change in my life was so awfully traumatic, it has created this underlying wellspring of resistance to change that I often have to fight against. Like my split personality, I have completely dichotomous feelings towards change - on one hand I love it because it adds new things to my life and keeps things interesting. On the other hand, when things occur that frustrate and stress me out as a result of change, I hate it.

So much change has occurred in my little provincial town life recently and I am having a hard time adjusting to it all. I lost one roommate and added another in the space of a day essentially. And I haven't taken the time to examine how I feel about it all, but I know that there are residual issues lying underneath the surface that I don't want to confront.

I'm losing two teammates and face a complete abscence of volunteers to take their place. I am having a really hard time thinking about adjusting to their loss because of how much they have added to the team.

Work is a plethora of changes - from the acquisition of a stair and rail company, to dealing with the loss of my baseball coworker, to just the day to day changes that must occur in order for our business to thrive. And these changes I have just been dealing with and not really processing either.

I just am having a hard time all of the sudden adjusting to everything that is going on around me. So I want to be like my friend Seth over at Thunder Sword and be depressed about life and how I cope with it. :) Can't things just return to normal? Whatever normal was?


Josh said...


your thoughts on the YL stuff have been great, and i appreciate that you've taken the time to write and think about that stuff. i think that what is happening with YL is going to happen more and is already happening with lots of evangelical institutions, and it will be interesting to see how things like this shake down in other institutions. Tony Jones posted a good follow up thought you may be interested in...

on the life changing stuff, i hear you! change is hard, overwhelming, and costs a lot, and means the end of some things...but I'm sure you will find your way, and that you will be able to see God in new places Lauren. you're a great person and when life is overwhelming, lean heavy onto the community for support! thanks for sharing on the blog!

Leah said...

NO!!! In the midst of the struggle I embrace your depression but don't know if I can handle reading TWO blogs centered around how life sucks. Reading Seth's fills my quota. But seriously I know we can't really help you out since we aren't in Warrenton, don't live with you, & aren't working at Signature, but if you need a night away please come to Williamsburg just to get away a bit. Consider our house your free motel.