Friday, November 30, 2012

Civic "Duty"

Picture this:

You are a dedicated citizen to a your small town. You've lived there the majority of your life and you love its traditions. So you are very happy in a small-town-type-of-way for the annual Christmas parade. You position yourself on the street so that you can see the whole parade and as it commences, you enthusiastically wave to all the parade participants wishing them a Merry Christmas and waving as they go by.

And while the Jazzercize ladies did not make an appearance, you're happy with the parade - the Shriners are there zipping in their little cars. The high school bands all make an appearance, along with unicyclists, baton twirlers, the local dance studios, a tank, and the most random Ghostbusters camo bus.

As the parade goes on, the local SPCA comes along with their cute puppies. And then this scene unfolds:
One of the dogs pops a squat and does his "duty". While doing so, his handler is petting him. Once done, the dog is ready to go on. His handler looks at one the other handlers, shrugs, and walks on. LEAVING A STEAMING PILE OF DOG POOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARADE!!!! There are still MANY more people to come along, and the dog has literally pooped in the absolute MIDDLE of the road, in the absolute MIDDLE of the parade.

What do you do? Do you just stand there and let this injustice persist? The firemen/police volunteers aren't doing anything - they aren't even bothering to warn the other parade participants about the steaming pile they are about to step in (poor boy scout troop).

No - You can't take it. As incredulous as you are that the SPCA did not bother to bring any bags with them to pick up after their dogs, you quickly scout and find a plastic bag, run into the middle of the street, pause the parade, scoop it up, and then quickly make your exit. It took a total of 30 seconds, but was 30 seconds too late for the boy scouts.

So dear SPCA, in case you - of all organizations - do not already know this rule, I would like you to memorize it and keep the streets of my town clean:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged amongst all who take care of pets, that if thy pet shall poop it, THOU SHALT SCOOP IT." Bring a bag with you if you're walking your dog in a public space! ESPECIALLY in the middle of the CHRISTMAS PARADE!

4 comments:

Lauren Taggart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josh said...

hahahahahahahaha! Amazing. There is no doubt that you should win Citizen of the Year! We missed that lovely experience, but we would have cheered you on!

Did you see Shey's mom and Emily start the parade and light the tree with Mayor Fitch? So cool!

This post made my morning. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Hear! Hear! Agreed!

Anonymous said...

Hear! Hear! Agreed!