Thanks to the love of my life (aka, my new iPhone), I was able to take notes on tonight's episode. Here are my quick thoughts...
1. Thanks to this season's Bachelorette, "Dot, dot, dot" is now part of the pop culture lexicon. It's been said approximately 58985497394579384759784 times this season, it has been embedded in all of our brains. And as of tonight, we can now add "...followed by a period" to our dot, dot, dots to signify closure. (See, that sentence ended with a period - closure. But what about parentheses? What do parentheses now signify?? Or semicolons? Or ampersands?? These are the thoughts I now I have to live with for the rest of this dot, dot, dot season)
2. Yes, Ashley, Lucas's "manlihood" was in full force tonight - there is a real, sweet guy there. Thanks for reminding us Lucas of what those are like. Even if Ashley uses made-up words to describe your awesomeness.
3. Ashley telling the audience that she now had closure (a period, if you will) to Bentley, yet she still couldn't move on, made me almost throw my salad at the television screen. Only the fact that I was really hungry and respected my carpet too much to dirty it, stopped me. Really Ashley, really? All you need to do to move on is to use a comma! Those generally will create movement in sentences, even if it creates a constant movement, otherwise known as a run-on, like this sentence. If you are going to let your love life be ruled by grammar, please, for the love, add a comma to it, so we can get to the end of this season!
4. I loved Team Josh Groban on the group date. They were hilarious - "Dude, we're getting smoked." "Yeah, like salmon". Hahahahahahahahahahaha
5. I, for one, loved the Chinese version of the Bachelor engagement that happened stage left on the screen (how else can you explain the inexplicable hordes of people that Team Josh Groban were somehow able to find at the last minute to row them in the dragon boat competition?). I have a feeling that this might be the only engagement we get to see this season, unless it is saved for the "After the Final Rose" taping.
6. Ben C. (the winemaker Josh Groban) is a total hipster wannabe as evidenced by his eschewed tie around his chambray shirt under his neon yellow v-neck sweater. We should have caught on to this by the fact that he "harvests" his own wine, but this ensemble solidified it.
7. "Sorry, I just felt that," after Ryan kissed Ashley's hand in the middle of a sentence while talking to her, HAS to be one of the funniest lines I have EVER heard - I almost rolled off the couch laughing (which, LBH, happens quite often when watching this show).
8. I love JP.
9. I love that Constantine totally called Ashley a liar!
10. Blake was about as secure as Ashley is with herself. Which really means that had he stuck around, they would have engaged in an emotionally manipulative relationship with each other. At least something healthy and helpful happened this season!
11. Yes Ames, we DO all want our fairytales to be simple, yet, as you also said, life is complicated, and that is what makes it ALL so beautiful. So wise my trust fund boy, so wise.
12. Adios Mickey Blue Eyes!
13. Oh, wait a second, Ashley - you mean the guys WEREN'T happy that Bentley came back!?! SHOCKER!!
14. I appreciate that Chris Harrison was able to refrain from shouting "I Told You So!" to Ashley, as she tried to digest why the guys were so upset that she told them about Bentley.
15. Hey Ashley, freaking newsflash - relationships are all ABOUT communication, not mind-reading!!
And the most disturbing thought - I am really concerned that there hasn't been a helicopter date yet!!! What is up ABC??
I also must pass on this fashion tip - a see-through sequined dress is NEVER a good idea. Just in case you were considering one.