Monday, July 27, 2009

Surrender of Suffering

Last week, you almost got a very depressing post from the vast vaults of my mind. I was in a deep, dark depression, suffering from a confluence of events that ended up all culminating in these past few weeks of summer. It truly felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest still beating and aflame, a la' Temple of Doom. It was real pain and real hurt mingled with self-pity and lack of understanding, which in general does not sit well with the analytical and logical half of mind.

Yet in the midst of the suffering and doubt in my hurt, I decided that I needed to surrender it what I was holding on to at the foot of the Cross, the altar of the Cross and leave it there along with all the tears and heartache. And in doing so, peace began to find its way to me and my heart.

Peace that comes from an act of kindness from a friend from whom I never expected such kindness. Peace that comes from being with other people and talking about the Truths of God. Peace that comes from fellowship and friendship and laughter. In surrendering and letting go of the suffering that washed over me like a tidal wave, God allowed peace to flow back into the crevices of hurt, healing as it swept through, and interacted with me through friendship and fellowship.

And in His mercy, His grace, He allowed me to experience great encouragement through one of the things that had given me such doubt and heartache. What a Redeemer.

Truly, I have only begun to scratch the surface of this journey with and within Christ.

*PS - Clearly, I must not be in such the doldrums of despair anymore as the above picture makes me laugh!! Picture, hyperbole is thy name :).*

1 comment:

Josh said...

thanks for sharing Lauren. i hope that things are getting better, and that your heart hasn't been ripped out of your chest!