Thursday, May 21, 2009
A Heart Bursting Full of Joy
I hope that everyone has these days. There is nothing better than a day in which a good mood envelopes every fiber of your being and you can almost feel the joy shining out of your skin. It is a gift, one that I absolutely relish and cherish because of how quickly this joy can dissipate, especially in this world. I wish I could describe the feeling more accurately, but there are not really any words to express and color in the lines of the space of happiness in my heart. I wish I could let other people into my heart during these times and that they could see the world with eyes of such wonder and become overwhelmed by its simple, yet utterly complex, beauty.
I think this is one of those rare tastes of what heaven has to be like. I believe that God gives us these gifts of opening our jaded eyes to the wonder of His creation - all of His creation, including us, His people. And I can't express enough how wonderful it is to come up out of the darkness of sarcasm, jadedness, and disappointment that I normally live in, and lift my eyes up to the sun, the Son, that literally shines down on me, and be enveloped in the joy and love of my Creator through the touches of His creation.
This is a happiness that sets aside the worries of the world and leaves them by the wayside, as I journey along this path. It's a happiness that makes me silly and child-like and laughter close to my heart, my eyes, and lips. It's a happiness that patiently forbears the pain of sitting enclosed in my cubicle when all I want to do is be outside - in no matter what shape or form - just to be outside. It's a happiness that had to create it's own playlist in order to fully encapsulate the tone of the mood that I'm in. It's a happiness that wants to put 50 dozen smiley emoticons behind every sentence :) :) :) :) and 50 more exclamation points!!!!!
And yet, it's a happiness that also has to deal with the reality, pain, and darkness of this world. An old neighbor committed suicide last week, leaving behind a son and daughter as virtual orphans in this world. How do you processs that? Tonight I travel to the memorial service of another neighbor who lost his brief life in a senseless accident, in which the perpetrator got to walk away, even though he was a multiple offender. My job hangs on a thread daily - any second could be the last one. My sister is off living in Australia and it is a daily pain to be separated from her by such a long distance for who knows how long?
The thing is, tears are always close by. Pain and suffering is only a heartbeat away. This journey takes unimaginable dips, turns, and flips, and if you don't watch out, you can be sucked into the darkness, the lies, the temptations that seek to utterly destroy our lives.
Which is why this happiness is such a blessing and gift. Thank God for the beauty of humanity and nature that He surrounds me with, that gives me the gift of a heart full of joy that is bursting at the seams today. Hallelujah. Amen.