Tuesday, February 19, 2008

To Our Commanders in Chief...

I meant to write this post yesterday, but when you don't leave work till the wee hours of the evening, there are some things that you just forget to do. Regardless, I would like to take a few minutes to honor our Presidents, since yesterday was President's Day, and as a former history and foreign affairs major, I feel like this obscure holiday was created solely so that history majors could feel validated in their choice of study at college.

So here is to you Millard Fillmore - the greatest accomplishment for you being that you were even elected into office with the name like Millard.
And to you James Polk, for successfully guiding us for four years through that seminal escapade called the Mexican-American War.
I cannot forget James Garfield, one of four presidents assassinated while in office.
Nor you Grover Cleveland, the only president to be elected twice to the Oval Office in different terms - and the only president to be married in office.
William Henry Harrison - I am sad that you only had 48 days in office - you should have worn a coat during your Inaugural Address.
William Taft - Can we credit you for ushering in obsesity in America as "cool"?
Poor Herb Hoover - It wasn't completely your fault that the economy collapsed - mostly, but not completely.
Andrew Jackson - you sure did tell that bank where to go, didn't you? And you didn't even need your pistol then!

And to all the others - noteworthy names and the ones that have been forgotten (Martin Van Buren), we celebrate your accomplishments!

1 comment:

Josh said...


this is quite colbert-esque. you should send this in as a possible write up or skit for next year. simply hilarious. a nice laugh to start my day!

it was great to see you last night!