Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - Ladies and Gentlemen, Oceanic Flight 815 is about to make it's final descent.  Last night's episode, "Happily Ever After" was my favorite of the season thus far (only equaled by Richard Alpert's backstory - oh Richard, how I love thee).  But any episode with my future husband, Mr. Desmond David Hume,  is guaranteed to be a great one - did you catch all the nuisances and lines from previous episodes and seasons that were uttered?  I'm glad to see that finally the Sideways world and the Island world merging and coming to a conclusion.  It's like "Yes, please tell me the end!!" intermingled with "No, I don't want it to end!!" I find myself living in between two worlds! (And apologies to all those who read this blog and that paragraph just made utterly no sense to you).

2 - I was driving today back from lunch and had this epiphany (I have a lot of epiphanies while driving) that I feel like I am finally growing up and becoming my own person, my own woman.  I feel like I'm beginning to finally understand "who" I am and what I want.  And I can't put this feeling into any concrete words other than just this general feeling of latent confidence.  I read all these quotes from fashion designers or stylists or magazine writers that say that confidence is the sexiest part of a woman, or as Nina Garcia says, "Confidence is captivating, it is powerful, and it does not fade - and that is endlessly more interesting than beauty."  I don't think I've ever understood what that means, to have confidence.  But I'm beginning to think that it's an attitude that understands who you are and accepts and loves yourself for who you are.  I can count on my hand the numbers of times that I've felt that way - most of them as a result of traveling somewhere by myself - but I'm beginning to feel this way in my everyday life.  It feels good to begin to understand who you are.

3 - If you read this blog at all, you know my love of dance.  Well this weekend I had the pleasure of watching another dance performance, this dedicated to the art of tango.  It is a beautiful, sexy dance that makes me wish I could move my feet with any kind of rhythm (in my Sideways world life maybe?).  But what is even more fun to have a tango attitude - overly dramatic, sexy, stalking-esque, and lots of pointed toes.  And when you try tangoing inanimate objects, life becomes very fun.  Point in case, this photo of me "tangoing" my wall, or as my friend said, my self-timer - either way, a tango attitude brings a lot of sexy to a moment.

4 - You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child?  I would like to coin a new saying, "It takes a village to take care of a single woman."  Because without the generosity and love of my family and friends, I wonder how I would eat or exist and live the amazing, wonderful life I am blessed with.  The only reason I can begin to have confidence in who I am is because of being loved by all the wonderful people who I am lucky to call family and friends.

5 - I hope everyone had a wonderful, blissful, and blessed Easter this past weekend!  I was blessed to spend the entire day with my family (minus my sister who is living Down Under) and most of that day was spent outside on my parents' new screened in porch and patio that they added to the house right before winter came.  This was the first weekend that we all got to sit out there and it was so lovely.  My parents even got a fire pit and we got to toast marshmallows (or actually, as my mom and prefer them, marshmallow a flambeau) and sit around the fire pit enjoying each other's company and the beautiful night time sky.  It was the perfect day and a memory that I will always treasure.

6 - WWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  Yes, folks, I did indeed triumph and win my office's NCAA pool!!!  After 5 1/2 years and coming close a few of those years, I finally won!! Unreal.  It marks the second time in my life that I have won an NCAA pool and so awesome.  The ironic thing is that I missed the entire tournament - I did not watch one single game, not even the championship game.  Yes, seriously.  Hey, what can I say - I'm a busy girl?

7 - And Hallelujah, Baseball is back!!!!!! A piece of my life that was missing is finally back.  Long summer nights, dramatic games, every pitch meaning something, the entire pace of a game switching in a heartbeat - there is nothing more excitedly boring to watch than baseball.  My goal is to make it to a Yankees game this year, as well as more than one Nationals game.  I probably have a better chance of succeeding at making it to a Nats game than the Yanks, but who knows?

8 - And spring is officially here!  Really and truly, my heart was rejoicing this morning as I was driving into my office.  There is nothing more beautiful than seeing the trees blossom into amazing green goodness and beauty, interspersed with flowers everywhere - pink, white, yellow, purple - all these amazing gorgeous colors.  The beauty of spring truly makes my heart sing.  Allelulia - the long winter is over and the promise and hope of resurrection yet again bursts forth with song and beauty.

Thoughts for a Wednesday

I have too many thoughts these days to have one single coherent one, so here it goes:

1 - Spring is right around the corner and my whole being is shaking with joyful anticipation.  Truly, this is my favorite time of the year.  I may have been born a winter baby, but there is nothing like a warm day after a cold, blizzardy winter to lift the spirits to the heights of heaven.  Sandals, dresses, t-shirts, light cardigans, green, green, green, flowers, daffodils, spring cleaning - I love it!!  Too bad there is rain predicted the rest of the week, but oh well - spring is almost here!!

2 - I am obsessed right now with all things fashion.  From Bravo tv shows like "Shear Genius" and "Kell on Earth", to the old standby "Project Runway", to picking up InStyle, Vogue, Elle, and Lucky spring fashion magazines, to finding and discovering this whole world of fashion blogging (which you can find many links to on my blog list), I am in love with all things fashion right now!  I can't help it!  I keep getting inspired and loving everything that I come across.  But I need to start regulating my love to just looking at pictures and getting inspired with all that I already have.

3 - So in watching the Oscars the other night, I noticed to my utter surprise, joy, and amazement, that one of the main dancers during the Best Score montage, was none other than B-Boy Cloud...who I was THREE FEET AWAY FROM AT RED BULL BC ONE!!

4 - Only 9 episodes left of Lost - in some ways I am utterly relieved and in others I am going to be completely devastated when this is all over.  I wonder if I will ever watch network television again.

5 - I am in love with yoga.  It has opened a door to me that I rarely have - that of quiet meditation and yet challenge all at the same time.  It is so awesome and clears my head in a way that I have never experienced with other forms of exercise.  I have learned so much and highly recommend it to everyone :).

6 - This season of ABDC is severely lacking.  In fact the past two seasons of ABDC have been real lackluster.  Maybe all of America's talent was captured in Seasons 1-3 with the likes of Jabbawockeez, Fanny Pak, Kaba Modern, SuperCrew, Beat Freaks, Quest Crew, Strikers All Stars & BreakSk8te.  The only crew that comes close to being as exciting as these past ones is Saltare.  And I miss Shane Sparks.

There are other things floating around, but that is all for now - I can't focus my thoughts enough to have more coherent thoughts other than those! Buona Sera!

On The Brink

I do a lot of thinking on my drives into and from work. More so than I realize, until I start talking and begin all of my sentences with, "As I was on my way into work..." or "As I was driving into the office...". I guess there is something about the drive that puts my mind into a state of reflection. Or else, my mind needs a constant state of reflection, but I distract it with so many things during the day and night, that my drive time is the only time in which I give it a chance to stretch and think about various things.

So, as I was driving into work this morning, taking Blantyre Road, which I haven't been able to take for a while due to construction that has been going on, I kept on noticing every little thing about my surroundings. From the daffodils that had pushed their way up through the hard soil to grace my sight with their yellow color, to the fields turning from their winter brown to spring's green, to the blooms starting to appear on the trees.

The trees. The trees were really capturing my soul this morning. There was something about driving past them, seeing all of their branches in their nakedness, starting to sprout growths here and there. And I was struck by a feeling of bittersweetness that the branches would soon be covered with leaves. That in losing all of their leaves to fall and winter, a beauty of the trees were revealed to me. The interlocking and intertwining of their branches, arcing here and there, showing strength in one branch, but extreme fragility in another. They are so beautiful and such high works of art, that it is almost a shame that they will soon be covered with green leaves! And yet, how glorious they are when they are crowned with the color of rebirth.

And the thought crossed my mind, that there is some great truth in all of this, but it is still eluding my thoughts. But in puzzling over it and trying to piece it together, I find that what God is telling me is that there is high beauty in stripping us down to our core. That going through a time of darkness, a time of winter, is needed in order to reveal who we truly are created to be. That the process of "losing our leaves", enables us to come to the core of the matter. And so when rebirth comes, we remember that the beauty really comes from the branches - that life is found there - and the leaves become the glory and joy given to us from the Life in the branches.

But, Allelulia and Glory to Him who brings Spring and reawakens the earth - my heart is literally singing with joy at the glory of spring!

This Week's Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - It is crazy how fast time flies. I cannot believe that it is already March 11th, full on into the second week of March. On the other hand, I am infinitely happy that it is March and that spring is right around the corner - oh how I cannot wait for springtime!! Green trees, green leaves, green grass, green, green, green - The color just refreshes and rejuvenates me!

2 - Well, ABDC finally concluded last week, and I am heartbroken. I don't know how I am going to get through Thursday now that I don't have it to look forward to once I finally get home from work. My prediction did turn out to be correct, and it was Beat Freaks and Quest Crew in the finale. It wasn't a really hard prediction to make, as they were above and beyond the other crews in my opinion, although this season of ABDC was really the best that I have seen. I will always have a soft spot for JabbaWockeez and Super Crew (throw the "S" to the chest!), but the crews on this season were phenomenal by virtue of both their abililty and creativity. I won't give away who won, but honestly, I think it should have been a draw - they are both THAT talented. *Sigh* Now, please excuse me while I go cry until the next season premieres.

3 - Lost is still the best written show on TV, but I am ticked that I have to wait another week till a new episode! What the hay ABC?? Didn't you start the whole season late so that we didn't have to wait??! Not fair...

4 - The World Baseball Classic is going on right now and it is frickin' awesome (spring AND baseball?? I'm in heaven)! The USA actually made it the next round, but what is MORE surprising is that the Dominican Republic team was eliminated!! By the NETHERLANDS!? Say what!?!? Amazing and awesome. Who says baseball is not a world sport, especially when Japan had 4,000 people show up to watch their practice (PRACTICE) session?

5 - I really am super-ready for summer baseball season to begin. Watching the WBC and all this beautiful weather has me antsy to be outside, watching a good game, interacting with all my baseball peeps, and watching my little happy campers run amok at the games.

6 - Speaking of it being March, March Madness is almost here! So excited - it's one of my favorite times of the year. I watched a little bit of the Horizon League Championship game last night (gotta watch those 13 seeds!) and watching the passion and intensity of play in that game was so cool - there's just nothing like it. So I'm sharpening my pencil in anticipation and hope that my picks will catapult me to the top of my office pool!! (Bright-side of downsizing - I now have a better chance of winning the office pool! Before I get laid off too!)

7 - Bachelorgate last week was RI-DI-CU-LOUS. I mean COME ON people, this IS the Bachelor! The After the Final Rose show is usually just a farce - I'm just glad that it was as entertaining as it really was! I feel sorry that Melissa was dumped on national TV, but she did sign up for a reality dating show in the first place! I just think it has been hilarious watching the fallout from it all - so much so that ABC is now milking it to the max and putting Melissa on Dancing With the Stars (which ironically, for all my love of dance shows, I really don't like).

8 - I have a lot of thoughts for this Wednesday, don't I?

9 - After watching the Red Bull BC One, I have decided that if I believed in reincarnation, I would want to come back to earth as a B-Boy. Being 27, I think I have missed out on this dream, but man oh man, how I wish I knew about it back when I was a kid (dang sheltered CT childhood). I don't think I would have been any good at it, but who knows? Maybe I would have actually developed a sense of rhythm or something? Anyway, those guys are all so cool and I just wish I had a smidgen of their talent, but alas, just like ABDC, I am relegated to just uber-appreciating their amazing skill and creativity. Maybe I can somehow become their best friend? Or figure out how to just get in the audience of one of those shows, because those people looked so cool.

10 - I feel like I should say something about the economy, work, world events, Obama, the stimulus bill, etc, but honestly, I just find the whole lot so depressing that I don't want to think about it or write about it today.

So, sorry for no deep thoughts or anything today. I'm sure those will come at some point, but honestly, it's hard to have time for any of those these days. It's just so much easier to be entertained by entertainment. Besides, once we officially get out of winter and well into spring/summer (since spring really only lasts a day in Virginia and then it's hello humidity), I'll be able to think more clearly. Winter is so tough for me to get through - I need to become like my sister and just perpetuate an endless summer for the rest of my life. Thank goodness for spring, green, and blue sunny skies right around the corner!!

A "Capitol" Weekend

This weekend was one of the best weekends I have had in a long time and was so encouraging and uplifting.

It all started with an email on Friday, when the Kennedy Center sent me an email stating that it had $20 orchestra seats available for its concert that night. After debating with myself all day, I decided to go ahead and go to the concert and enjoy an evening of classical music on my own instead of sitting at home in my dark house watching some movie or junk on television. I was so glad that I did make that decision, because the concert was sublime. There was a solo cellist performing a Prokofiev concerto, and I have never seen anyone play with that intensity and passion in my life. Prokofiev, being a Russian composer, rifles his works with drama and complexity anyway - the additional breadth of extraordinary musicianship was therefore remarkable. Absolutely incredible.

But I think what was even more incredible, was that after giving that performance, the cellist went on to perform in the next piece with the orchestra. Something about a soloist's willingness to sit within the back rows of the orchestra and play with them in the following piece, spoke to me of this man's humbleness and sheer love of playing beautiful music. It has something to do with the fact that this amazing musician became part of the bigger picture, the bigger sound - stepping outside of himself for the sake of the music - that really spoke to me. It kind of hits on the thing that I was blogging about last week - this feeling that I am supposed to be something more (thanks by the way to everyone for posting your thoughts - very insightful stuff and truthful stuff - I've been clinging to it). This musician is that "something more" but yet, for the sake of playing more music, takes a back seat in the back row, to play with the orchestra and let others shine.

Anyway, on Saturday, I returned to the city with a group of coworkers to sight-see and visit the museums. What a gorgeous day in the city! And it was a good thing too, seeing as we walked our little legs off around the city!! :) I somehow always manage to do that - walk a lot further than I intended, in the worst shoes possible for walking long distances. I also was kind of disappointed in the Natural History Museum - it was like a never-ending fifth-grade diorama scene or an ode to taxidermy - that the cool things that were there got lost in the midst of all the bad displays and bad arrangements of the amazing things that are there. But the beauty in just walking through the city afterwards made up for the cheesiness of the museum. It is also really awesome that there is so much you can do for free in DC (though they make up for the "free" admission by charging outrageous prices on food - the margin they must make on food must be incredible!!). I hope to make it back there soon.

Saturday, before heading into the city, I helped out at the Warrenton Food Bank at the Methodist Church. Apparently Young Life helps out with this every month, but this was my first time doing it. I also almost didn't go and sleep in instead, but a little voice (God) kept telling me to get up and go and work at this thing. I am glad that I did. It is good to be reminded of all the different people that live in Warrenton - that in our little, predominantly white, middle-class suburbia, utopian town, there are real people living in real poverty. Especially after reading the Glass Castle, I am thankful that I got to help people living in these conditions in a very, very, very small way. Most of my volunteer service work is in YL ministry, so it was very beneficial to participate in something outside of YL - as one of my friends said last night, the kingdom is way bigger than just Young Life, and participating in this helps remind me of that truth.

Yesterday was spent in driving around the country observing all the different signs of spring coming to life throughout the landscape. I really cannot wait till it comes! Golf, here I come!!

I also spent the other part of the day in Bracket analysis and research (bracketology) with my dad - I really, really want to win my company's pool this year. I came in third my first year, and then was knocked out last year, so I'm hoping for a much better showing this year. Any advice is much welcome and will be analyzed to the fullest :)! Company pools aside, I am really excited for March Madness - this is one of my absolute favorite times of the year - nothing beats a good college basketball game! Here's hoping some of my low seeds come through for me!

Awakening

I could write this morning about how stressed I am with all the things that seemingly keep piling up on my desk (quite literally) and how I don't know how to get through it all and how there is so much I want to do, but I forget that I want to do it, and etc, etc, etc - regrets, regrets, and complaints.

But I am not going to do that this morning because on my drive in to work, which is one of the saving graces of my job, I was reminded in so many ways that spring is just around the corner.

From seeing the daffodils starting to burst through the freezing coldness of a harsh winter ground, to the buds sprouting all over the barren trees, it was as if I could feel life beginning again. The start of Daylight Savings Time has given me a new hope, with all the promises of warm weather and beautiful vistas to grace my eyes. With the sun not setting till 7:00pmish last night, I was excited that my days are now longer and that the brightness and light and nourishment of the sun will around for a few hours when I leave the confines of my cube. I love that I can go to the driving range at night now and that baseball is just around the corner because that promises me more time outside, even though here in VA that can quickly mean hot, humid days of a long, long summer.

But today I will be excited that spring is almost here, that warm days are almost upon us, that life is being renewed and that the day of celebration of when life was restored to us is almost here. Winter to me is like a long, long Lent, in which the seemingly never-ending darkness and coldness must be endured with a hard-fought, and oft-tested, patience and forbearance. So I thank God that this time is almost over and that the renewal of life is about to begin once again.