Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - I went this past weekend to see the movie Avatar with my father.  Can I just say, ridiculous?  I've watched some bad movies in my life, and unfortunately this ranks right up there.  How it was even considered for a Best Picture Oscar is only testament to it's 3-D technology, visuals, and cinematography and definitely not its acting.  The story was probably ok, and maybe even good, but the actors who played the characters were so awful you couldn't appreciate the story.  But like I said, it was visually stunning, and even though I only got to see it in 2-D, you could guess why it was so interesting to watch in 3-D - and it was all because of the visuals.  So well-deserved and earned Oscars to the visual and cinematography teams of the movie.

2 - Dealing with the local town government of the place where I work is turning me into an anarchist who will be joining the militias in Montana.  It is utterly ridiculous the restrictions, paperwork, meetings, and hoops that must be jumped through in order to put a frickin' sign in front of a business.  And then you can't even put a sign that is big enough in front of your business or in your business's colors.  It is utterly ludicrous, an exercise in inanity, and God help me to find the patience for it.

3 - Yoga is soul-soothing.  The simple act of consciously breathing in and breathing out is restorative in the most profound way.  And it's not about competition - who is the most flexible or who can do the harder poses - it is about listening to and respecting the limits of your own body - challenging them yes, but not to the point of excruciating pain.  It completely turns upside down all that I have been taught by my wonderful, loving, former Marine Corp father, who instilled such maxims into me like "If you throw up, then you know you've left everything you have on the field" and "Do one more for the Marines".  It is about an awareness of your mind and body and what is going on within your body.  I am so in love with it.  If you live in the Warrenton area, I highly recommend that you visit my yoga studio, Transcendent Women at their Open House this Saturday, March 20th.

4 - Only 3 more days until the official start of the vernal equinox - the daffodils are pushing their way up through the ground, the birds chirping their beautiful melodies each morning, the sun shining gloriously in a brilliant blue sky, even a walk in a spring rain becomes refreshing and enjoyable, not annoying and miserable.  Goodbye long, long winter.  Hello long, sunshiney days.

5 - Only 8 more episodes of Lost and the ending to this 6 year metaphysical, spiritual, mysterious show.  I am going to be so sad and I have no idea how it is all going to end at this point.  Right now I feel as if I have more questions than answers or even a clue as to how the series will wrap up.  Will my world be blown to pieces (probably)?

6 - I fully admit to watching the 20/20 special on The Bachelor/Bachelorette series.  Do I feel ashamed? Not a bit.  I love this show for its ability to make me laugh at the antics of these people - it is so amazing.  The series executive producer definitely comes across as sketchy with a capital "S" and "Ketchy", and the behind the scenes look at the casting of these characters was fascinating.  I think I would probably rather claw my eyes out than watch the upcoming season of The Bachelorette with Ali though - I honestly don't know if I can stomach it.  But I know that inevitably I will get sucked in.

7 - Deadliest Catch will you please premiere soon? I miss you.

8 - Last and final thought. I keep reading or hearing things in our culture touting happiness as the ultimate goal in life and basing all decisions upon that goal.  It disheartens me.  I don't think happiness is a worthy goal to build a life around.  I think that there is something more, much more worth living worth, and happiness and her deeper persona, joy, are byproducts and emotions that ebb and flow.  Building a life centered around an emotion just seems to be a castle built in the sand.

It Just Keeps Piling On....

Oh blog, bloggedy, blog, blog. I have been meaning and wanting to post thoughts, feelings, and reactions to a myriad of things for a while, but the demands of summer, life, and living with Jesus have been pretty pressing as of late. I hope to post some thoughts up here soon though about my completed trip to Young Life camp, as well as some other things that have been ruminating, marinating, and rummaging around in my head. I am beyond grateful for a 3 day weekend this weekend, and hope that by the time I emerge from it, I will be a little bit more rested for the chaos of next week - which looks to be one heck of a ride! Sorry for only posting twice last month - that is a new all-time low. But be sure, as always to check out Ruminations and Reflections. I'm much better about posting up over there :).

Awakening

I could write this morning about how stressed I am with all the things that seemingly keep piling up on my desk (quite literally) and how I don't know how to get through it all and how there is so much I want to do, but I forget that I want to do it, and etc, etc, etc - regrets, regrets, and complaints.

But I am not going to do that this morning because on my drive in to work, which is one of the saving graces of my job, I was reminded in so many ways that spring is just around the corner.

From seeing the daffodils starting to burst through the freezing coldness of a harsh winter ground, to the buds sprouting all over the barren trees, it was as if I could feel life beginning again. The start of Daylight Savings Time has given me a new hope, with all the promises of warm weather and beautiful vistas to grace my eyes. With the sun not setting till 7:00pmish last night, I was excited that my days are now longer and that the brightness and light and nourishment of the sun will around for a few hours when I leave the confines of my cube. I love that I can go to the driving range at night now and that baseball is just around the corner because that promises me more time outside, even though here in VA that can quickly mean hot, humid days of a long, long summer.

But today I will be excited that spring is almost here, that warm days are almost upon us, that life is being renewed and that the day of celebration of when life was restored to us is almost here. Winter to me is like a long, long Lent, in which the seemingly never-ending darkness and coldness must be endured with a hard-fought, and oft-tested, patience and forbearance. So I thank God that this time is almost over and that the renewal of life is about to begin once again.

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First, I want to give a shout-out to my buddy Josh Hayden, over at Moments of Recognition. He has been blogging about some really thought-provoking, heavy theological stuff that is apparently been going on in Young Life that I had no clue about. Josh has been great in posting about this issue and though I don't have a complete grasp on what the issues are, I appreciate the discussion and thinking that the discussion provokes. It is always good to examine the reasons behind the things that we do. The way that my brain works is that it necessitates that everything I do have an ultimate purpose behind it - a big-picture view. I can't do things (and often stubbornly resist) without seeing the "why" behind it. Which is why I appreciate Josh's posts - they have been helping me to think through issues that contribute to the big picture of YL ministry in my life. So, many thanks Josh!!

Second, I think I have a serious problem with accepting change in my life. I have always found it difficult to adjust to change - I think the fact that the first big change in my life was so awfully traumatic, it has created this underlying wellspring of resistance to change that I often have to fight against. Like my split personality, I have completely dichotomous feelings towards change - on one hand I love it because it adds new things to my life and keeps things interesting. On the other hand, when things occur that frustrate and stress me out as a result of change, I hate it.

So much change has occurred in my little provincial town life recently and I am having a hard time adjusting to it all. I lost one roommate and added another in the space of a day essentially. And I haven't taken the time to examine how I feel about it all, but I know that there are residual issues lying underneath the surface that I don't want to confront.

I'm losing two teammates and face a complete abscence of volunteers to take their place. I am having a really hard time thinking about adjusting to their loss because of how much they have added to the team.

Work is a plethora of changes - from the acquisition of a stair and rail company, to dealing with the loss of my baseball coworker, to just the day to day changes that must occur in order for our business to thrive. And these changes I have just been dealing with and not really processing either.

I just am having a hard time all of the sudden adjusting to everything that is going on around me. So I want to be like my friend Seth over at Thunder Sword and be depressed about life and how I cope with it. :) Can't things just return to normal? Whatever normal was?