Strength, Vulnerability, and Beauty

A couple of snowstorms ago I had the chance to go see the Alvin Ailey Dance Company perform at the Kennedy Center, which I posted a video for a few posts ago.  But as wonderful as a video is, it doesn't describe the feelings I had while experiencing the performance.  True, it lets you formulate your own thoughts and feelings, but until you see them perform in person, I don't know if you truly experience the performance.

The dancing was unlike anything I had ever seen before.  It showcased the human body in all of its intended glory - muscular and strong with control over every single movement.  And each movement was the epitome of both grace and beauty.  From traditional ballet moves to yoga-like poses, all incorporated into one piece, the body moving with a fluidity that was awe-inspiring and truly beyond words.

And then there came a moment within the performance in which it reached out, broke the fourth wall, and offered me and the audience, a piece of the dancer himself - a piece of his heart, open and vulnerable, out there on a stage, for everyone to experience and see and touch.  It was during a dance to spoken word, and the words combined with the movements broke through to me, directly into my heart.

It could have been interpreted as one of the corniest moments of the show, but it was one of the most vulnerable.  Because it takes strength to be that vulnerable.  To open and share your heart, your passion, a piece of your identity in such a broad and beautiful way - that takes incredible strength.

There was also the beauty in seeing the human body in all of its intended glory.  Saint Iraneus said that "The glory of God is man fully alive" and each Alvin Ailey dancer showcased this truth.  Their dancing was a true echo of God, showcasing His glory.  They were fully alive in beauty, in strength, in vulnerability and they gave me a gift in being able to experience that joy.

Surrender of Suffering

Last week, you almost got a very depressing post from the vast vaults of my mind. I was in a deep, dark depression, suffering from a confluence of events that ended up all culminating in these past few weeks of summer. It truly felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest still beating and aflame, a la' Temple of Doom. It was real pain and real hurt mingled with self-pity and lack of understanding, which in general does not sit well with the analytical and logical half of mind.

Yet in the midst of the suffering and doubt in my hurt, I decided that I needed to surrender it what I was holding on to at the foot of the Cross, the altar of the Cross and leave it there along with all the tears and heartache. And in doing so, peace began to find its way to me and my heart.

Peace that comes from an act of kindness from a friend from whom I never expected such kindness. Peace that comes from being with other people and talking about the Truths of God. Peace that comes from fellowship and friendship and laughter. In surrendering and letting go of the suffering that washed over me like a tidal wave, God allowed peace to flow back into the crevices of hurt, healing as it swept through, and interacted with me through friendship and fellowship.

And in His mercy, His grace, He allowed me to experience great encouragement through one of the things that had given me such doubt and heartache. What a Redeemer.

Truly, I have only begun to scratch the surface of this journey with and within Christ.


*PS - Clearly, I must not be in such the doldrums of despair anymore as the above picture makes me laugh!! Picture, hyperbole is thy name :).*

A Couple of Thoughts for a Wednesday

1 - Barack Obama's inauguration speech was awesome - I loved it. Whether or not I agree with his rhetoric, policies, or political cabinet picks, I have to say it is refreshing to have a person of eloquence leading the country. Never underestimate the power of words. Tony Blair is one of my all-time favorite political leaders for this reason. He had the ability to speak eloquently and think fast (watch the Prime Minister's questions on CSPAN - it's awesome!) and his speech in the immediate aftermath of Sept. 11th was the one that I think people should have paid more attention to. Barack's speech addressed a lot of the nation's fears and had a lot of truth within it and I am so lucky to have witnessed one of the most historic moments in our country's history.

2 - So beyond excited about the premiere of Lost tonight - you don't even know. I have been looking forward to this day since the last episode of last season aired last May and it is finally, FINALLY here!

3 - I am loved by a beyond gracious God, a beyond wonderful family, and an amazing group of friends. So no matter what happens in the next few months, I have remembered that my life here is not about my financial security or independence, but about walking by faith and trusting in a God who I feel I am just getting to know.

4 - Never underestimate the importance of your living environment on your mental and physical health.

5 - I love living on my own in my new apartment! I am so blessed and grateful for this gift and so excited to share it with others! So if you are ever driving by Winchester Street, please stop in and say hello!