There are two things for a woman that sometimes can be a wilderness to navigate - one is her hair, and the other her face. And sometimes, when one goes through harrowing experiences relating to these features - at the same time you are learning a lot from God - you learn a lesson or two that sticks with you. I recently was the beneficiary of two such lessons, and as such, I felt as if I should share them with the world wide web.
I love my hair - it is one of the few features that I possess that I genuinely like. Most of the time. You could say that my hair is an extension of myself. It has a mind of it's own and can be pretty stubborn. But in the hands of a professional (which I am not), it can look gorgeous, and I can look in the mirror and say, "I LOVE it" and really genuinely mean it. And I will pay what I need to pay to in order for it be chopped and changed by experienced hands. It is an indulgence that I give in to every three or four months, or right about the time that I am ready to shave my head, a la' Britney.
The stylist that I have been going to for the past four years since I've lived in Warrenton is probably the only straight male hairdresser out there that can pull off leather pants and long hair. I love him. He is my hair guru. The moment he cut my hair the first time and I found out that he is one degree away from Nick Arrojo, my hair god from "What Not to Wear", (he used to be Nick's colorist!), I was sold. So I usually just sit in the chair and tell him in general terms to do whatever, and away he goes. He is like a sculptor and it is in the moments that I am sitting the chair and he is looking at my Chia-pet head, that I revel in watching the creative process come alive. He comes up with the vision and then "bam" it is done and beautiful. I love the whole process, my whole time at the salon. It is a wonderful experience. Usually.
This past Friday I went in to get some highlights, which I have done from time to time. But when it comes to color and my hair, I am not bold. I am very, very conservative. I like it to look very, very natural - almost so that you don't notice the highlights. Nothing to rock the boat. But this was not to be on Friday. Nope, when I sat down in the chair, I was given two choices - platinum blonde or really, really red. I was scared and very, very nervous. I was kind of hemming and hawing, but I made mention that at one point he had done some auburn reddish highlights which were cool, and instantly my decision was made for me - "We're going with cool!" - when in fact I was going to say to go with blonde. Too late.
So, I nervously sat there watching my stylist mix the color. One shake, two shakes, three shakes, FOUR shakes, FIVE shakes - mix! I knew that the more color being put into the bowl, the more intense this was going to be. But I sat in my chair, smiling and chatting away, as if I didn't have a care in the world, while inside I was like, "what have I done??"
When it came time to take out the foils, the poor girl who was taking the foils out and washing my head had her hands stained bright pink. I walked back to the chair, looked at the mirror, and my eyes must have gotten wide as a chipmunk because staring back at me was a wet-headed mop of brown and bright pink streaks throughout my entire head of hair. I was shocked. My stylist loved it. In fact, all the stylists there at the salon loved it! And I thought briefly maybe I should just take up residence at the salon and never leave, because I didn't know who else would love it! After drying my hair, I literally said to my stylist, "I feel like a rockstar" to which he was ecstatic. And off to work I had to go.
Needless to say, my new do definitely got some looks and remarks at work. Myself, I didn't know whether to burst into tears or to laugh about it or to love it. The turning point was the remark from my boss who said that he was proud of me for taking such a risk with my hair - to which I thought, "am I really that boring?" And the more that I looked at it, the more I came to embrace it and love it. And over the course of the next couple of days the bright pink faded into some bright deep red highlights which I now absolutely love and adore. Because there is a part of me, that most people don't see, that loves to take a risk and surprise others and myself.
And this is what was revealed to me through this whole experience. I went into my salon that morning fully trusting whatever my stylist was going to do, because he can rarely do any wrong in my eyes (at least when it comes to my hair). In the midst of the process, when he gave me my two options, my trust was shaken. At the end of my time at the salon, highlights in and done, I was shaken to my core and doubting everything that had been done. But as I continued through the process, gauging my own reactions to the mirror, as well as people's encouraging comments, I came to realize that I had nothing to fear. My hair looked awesome and my trust was rewarded.
How often do I doubt God when He asks me to trust Him? Very often. I sit in that chair, looking at Him, wondering what in the flippin' world I have allowed Him to do. I get up, questioning myself, my entire identity, wondering what I have done. But if I continue to journey on, how much more often do I find that all along, I was right in trusting my Lord, that He has worked an amazing thing in my life, and I find that I know and love Him that much more? What other things are there that I am too scared to experience because I don't want to rock the boat; I don't want to take the risk? I think I have hit a vein, a theme for this year. If last year was "Change" in all shapes and sizes, I believe that this year is "Risk and Trust".
The other thing that happened was that I was so out of it the other morning (actually because I was thinking about my hair and trust issues), that I literally walked out of my house, got in my car, was ten minutes into my commute, on the highway ramp when I suddenly realized that I had not put on a single bit of makeup. I was horrified. My brain raced for what my solution was going to be - do I spend $40+ on a new set of makeup?? Do I have time to go to a drugstore and do that (that would have been no, as I was running late)?? Do I/Can I turn around and go home?? Again, no dice - already on the highway, with no where to turn around. So I had to resolve myself to facing the day with all my facial flaws exposed to the world.
The thing is, I really came into the makeup game late, and I am by no means a master of it. I went years without wearing any makeup and I was fine. But I have found that now that I put it on everyday, I can't go out of my house without it on my face. Even if it's just the basic essentials of mascara and blush, I can't go without it. I need it to mask my flaws!
So, to go to work, without any makeup on to mask those flaws, was extremely hard and horrifying - and yet liberating. I had forgotten my mask, so all I could do was smile and laugh. That was the only thing I had for my face. There was a lot of power in realizing that my flaws were exposed for the whole world to see, and there was nothing I could about it.
Because, how often do we put on masks to find our flaws? And how much harder is it when those masks are revealed for the falsehoods that they are? For me, I see masks up everywhere. Masks and walls that people can't let go, can't let down, and thus miss out on what real and fulfilling life is like. A couple of posts ago, I wrote about what success means to me. I think the way that my Enemy wants me to think about success is just another mask that I would put on to the whole world - just another lie, to hide all the flaws and turmoil of my real life and heart. If I was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company that would certainly make me look good and cool and smart in the eyes of a lot of people. But behind that appearance, what would really be there? Would that really be a real and fulfilling life for me? No, not really - not for this chick. And I would say that's probably the truth for a lot of other people as well - especially those that have achieved their success, and once there, they find that this appearance, this success was a lie the entire time.
I don't want to live my life hiding behind masks. And I love how God used me forgetting to hide my facial flaws as a way to reaffirm and remind me of what really matters - that smile on my face. That's real.
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Friday, January 18, 2008
The 4 C's of Trust
This is my attempt to be like John Maxwell I guess. I had to develop this article for an overnight senior manager's weekend back in October and from then it has evolved into this, which actually was just published in one of our trade partner's newsletters. There is still more work to be done and hashed out, but this is the bare bones beginning of a concept that I think is important and kind of revolutionary for my company. But here it is in all of its glory for now and just keep in mind that revisions will be coming :).
[1] Leading With The Heart by Mike Krzyzewski: This book really brought home the notion of teamwork and how Coack K has developed it with his highly successful basketball teams at Duke. What I learned from this book is how important Trust is to the development of Teamwork.
2.Winning by Jack Welch: This book taught me how important Candor is in improving speed and efficiency in an organization.
3. Good to Great by Jim Collins: This book gave us the passion to define and focus what our company is all about. We developed our HedgeHog Concept to be “The Best Turn-Key Supplier, Period”. As it relates to this discussion, it introduced to us the importance of the “Right People on the Bus” concept.
TEAMWORK
You can’t get there without
TRUST
You can’t get there without
TRUST
Developing Teamwork within your organization cannot be done without first developing organizational Trust.
“Together Everyone Achieves More” ~ John Hall, Branch Manager, Signature Companies
“There may not be an I in TEAM but there is in FIRE.” ~ Dennis Monte, Vice President, Business Process Improvement, Signature Companies
Teamwork is a common topic in many organizations, but it is in reality rarely found within them. The last four years at Signature Companies, we have set many cultural organizational goals, but it wasn’t until this past February that the most important organizational goal became teamwork! Signature Companies is an organization that I am immensely proud of and I believe that we are a very good company. Yet, as good as we may be, I still felt that we had yet to make the leap to being a great company. There are many great and dedicated individuals that work at Signature, but the potential we have to operate as a great team had not yet been realized.
During this time our senior management team began discussing how to create teamwork. In reading Leading With the Heart by Coach Mike Krzyzewski of Duke University, it became apparent that in order to build TEAMWORK, you first need to build organizational TRUST. Teamwork, speed, and organizational efficiency flow from an organization full of people who have trust-based relationships. Trust between people breaks down communication barriers and allows the business to focus on its strategic goals.
In preparing for a recent offsite strategy meeting, I asked my assistant Lauren Taggart to put some thought into this issue and summarize three books that have been key in our journey as an organization (Leading With the Heart by Mike Krzyzewski, Winning by Jack Welch, Good to Great by Jim Collins)[1] as well as the website http://www.speedoftrust.com/ to present to our senior management team. Lauren reviewed the above materials and developed the concept of the 4 C’s of Organizational Trust: Candor, Connection, Competence, and Character. The 4 C’s of Organizational Trust, when practiced consistently, become the foundational pillars upon which an organization can build effective teamwork. Without these four building blocks, teamwork and trust become empty, nebulous concepts that do nothing to improve the performance and success of an organization.
CANDOR
There are many books and articles that discuss the benefits of honest, transparent, and clear communication between individuals. All of these words are synonyms for candor, one of the 4 C’s of Trust. The open dialogue that candor creates improves the speed and efficiency of an organization. However, just as there are many obstacles to creating trust with customers and within an organization, there are also many hurdles to the practice of candor. One of the problems with candor is that it poses the risk of alienating people who do not want to hear the truth or reality of their situations. Another problem with candor is that it cannot be practiced without mutually respectful relationships between two people. If a person cannot value another’s strengths and treat him or her daily with respect, then candor serves no purpose other than to point out another’s flaws and erode any kind of trust between the two parties. Candor also cannot be practiced digitally or in a memo format – meaning that in order for candor to truly be effective and build trust, it must take place on a face-to-face platform. Ultimately, candor and trust have a symbiotic relationship. One builds on the other, creating clear channels of communication between people, and simplifying situations that were seemingly insurmountable. By taking a risk and communicating in an honest, straightforward manner, trust is created between individuals and problems solved.
CONNECTION
Genuine relationships, or what we call connection, also build trust between people. When people take the time to engage with another person and simply care about the other person, a foundation is built between the two. A mutual respect develops and the two people come to realize that they can rely on the other. Truly getting to know another person, beyond the outer surface that everyone projects, develops an even deeper trust and respect that allows these two people to communicate candidly with one another – which in turn develops more trust and builds a team. Trust cannot exist between people who do not connect with each other. And if trust does not exist between these two people, they become burdened with constantly having to both “read between the lines” and figure out the subtext, or they have to double-check the other person’s work, which slows the speed and efficiency of the organization. Connection therefore is critical to the development of trust with customers and within an organization.
CHARACTER
The character of a person determines whether or not trust is created between two people. If people are accountable for their actions, keep their commitments, admit their mistakes, listen to others, and are truthful in all their dealings, they build a layer of trust, not only within their organization, but with all of their relationships. The integrity, the character, of a person will determine the amount of trust that colleagues and customers place upon him or her.
COMPETENCE
The last of the 4 C’s, competence, is the ability of a person to perform in their job, continuously improve that performance, and consistently deliver results, creating another platform upon which trust grows. If a person cannot perform in their job, the natural result is that his or her coworkers do not place any trust in them and are constantly double-checking that person’s work. Instead of a trustworthy, independent, self-managed worker, you have a worker that needs to be micro-managed. A worker who is not competent saps the energy out of his or her manager and takes time and focus away from issues that need to be dealt with in order for the organization to achieve its goal. Trust is eroded by incompetent people. The trick then becomes recognizing what competencies workers possess and placing them in the right job that utilizes these competencies.
When an organization has a high level of trust within it, clear, candid communication is present among a set of high-performing, competent people who genuinely care, connect, and respect each other and demonstrate personal integrity on a daily basis and they perform as a great team. As Signature’s journey over the past four years demonstrates, this does not happen overnight. Trust and great teamwork take time to develop the highly functional relationships in which honesty and candor are seen as virtues and not personal slights. Trust at its core is a risky enterprise. But when the 4 C’s of Candor, Connection, Character, and Competence are in place promoting trust and teamwork, there is nothing that the organization cannot accomplish.
This concept has proved immensely helpful to our senior management team as difficult personnel decisions had to be made due to the trying market conditions we all face. In the end, though the market remains weak, our organization is getting stronger every day as a result of living and promoting this philosophy.
John Lombardozzi
President and CEO
Signature Companies
“Together Everyone Achieves More” ~ John Hall, Branch Manager, Signature Companies
“There may not be an I in TEAM but there is in FIRE.” ~ Dennis Monte, Vice President, Business Process Improvement, Signature Companies
Teamwork is a common topic in many organizations, but it is in reality rarely found within them. The last four years at Signature Companies, we have set many cultural organizational goals, but it wasn’t until this past February that the most important organizational goal became teamwork! Signature Companies is an organization that I am immensely proud of and I believe that we are a very good company. Yet, as good as we may be, I still felt that we had yet to make the leap to being a great company. There are many great and dedicated individuals that work at Signature, but the potential we have to operate as a great team had not yet been realized.
During this time our senior management team began discussing how to create teamwork. In reading Leading With the Heart by Coach Mike Krzyzewski of Duke University, it became apparent that in order to build TEAMWORK, you first need to build organizational TRUST. Teamwork, speed, and organizational efficiency flow from an organization full of people who have trust-based relationships. Trust between people breaks down communication barriers and allows the business to focus on its strategic goals.
In preparing for a recent offsite strategy meeting, I asked my assistant Lauren Taggart to put some thought into this issue and summarize three books that have been key in our journey as an organization (Leading With the Heart by Mike Krzyzewski, Winning by Jack Welch, Good to Great by Jim Collins)[1] as well as the website http://www.speedoftrust.com/ to present to our senior management team. Lauren reviewed the above materials and developed the concept of the 4 C’s of Organizational Trust: Candor, Connection, Competence, and Character. The 4 C’s of Organizational Trust, when practiced consistently, become the foundational pillars upon which an organization can build effective teamwork. Without these four building blocks, teamwork and trust become empty, nebulous concepts that do nothing to improve the performance and success of an organization.
CANDOR
There are many books and articles that discuss the benefits of honest, transparent, and clear communication between individuals. All of these words are synonyms for candor, one of the 4 C’s of Trust. The open dialogue that candor creates improves the speed and efficiency of an organization. However, just as there are many obstacles to creating trust with customers and within an organization, there are also many hurdles to the practice of candor. One of the problems with candor is that it poses the risk of alienating people who do not want to hear the truth or reality of their situations. Another problem with candor is that it cannot be practiced without mutually respectful relationships between two people. If a person cannot value another’s strengths and treat him or her daily with respect, then candor serves no purpose other than to point out another’s flaws and erode any kind of trust between the two parties. Candor also cannot be practiced digitally or in a memo format – meaning that in order for candor to truly be effective and build trust, it must take place on a face-to-face platform. Ultimately, candor and trust have a symbiotic relationship. One builds on the other, creating clear channels of communication between people, and simplifying situations that were seemingly insurmountable. By taking a risk and communicating in an honest, straightforward manner, trust is created between individuals and problems solved.
CONNECTION
Genuine relationships, or what we call connection, also build trust between people. When people take the time to engage with another person and simply care about the other person, a foundation is built between the two. A mutual respect develops and the two people come to realize that they can rely on the other. Truly getting to know another person, beyond the outer surface that everyone projects, develops an even deeper trust and respect that allows these two people to communicate candidly with one another – which in turn develops more trust and builds a team. Trust cannot exist between people who do not connect with each other. And if trust does not exist between these two people, they become burdened with constantly having to both “read between the lines” and figure out the subtext, or they have to double-check the other person’s work, which slows the speed and efficiency of the organization. Connection therefore is critical to the development of trust with customers and within an organization.
CHARACTER
The character of a person determines whether or not trust is created between two people. If people are accountable for their actions, keep their commitments, admit their mistakes, listen to others, and are truthful in all their dealings, they build a layer of trust, not only within their organization, but with all of their relationships. The integrity, the character, of a person will determine the amount of trust that colleagues and customers place upon him or her.
COMPETENCE
The last of the 4 C’s, competence, is the ability of a person to perform in their job, continuously improve that performance, and consistently deliver results, creating another platform upon which trust grows. If a person cannot perform in their job, the natural result is that his or her coworkers do not place any trust in them and are constantly double-checking that person’s work. Instead of a trustworthy, independent, self-managed worker, you have a worker that needs to be micro-managed. A worker who is not competent saps the energy out of his or her manager and takes time and focus away from issues that need to be dealt with in order for the organization to achieve its goal. Trust is eroded by incompetent people. The trick then becomes recognizing what competencies workers possess and placing them in the right job that utilizes these competencies.
When an organization has a high level of trust within it, clear, candid communication is present among a set of high-performing, competent people who genuinely care, connect, and respect each other and demonstrate personal integrity on a daily basis and they perform as a great team. As Signature’s journey over the past four years demonstrates, this does not happen overnight. Trust and great teamwork take time to develop the highly functional relationships in which honesty and candor are seen as virtues and not personal slights. Trust at its core is a risky enterprise. But when the 4 C’s of Candor, Connection, Character, and Competence are in place promoting trust and teamwork, there is nothing that the organization cannot accomplish.
This concept has proved immensely helpful to our senior management team as difficult personnel decisions had to be made due to the trying market conditions we all face. In the end, though the market remains weak, our organization is getting stronger every day as a result of living and promoting this philosophy.
John Lombardozzi
President and CEO
Signature Companies
[1] Leading With The Heart by Mike Krzyzewski: This book really brought home the notion of teamwork and how Coack K has developed it with his highly successful basketball teams at Duke. What I learned from this book is how important Trust is to the development of Teamwork.
2.Winning by Jack Welch: This book taught me how important Candor is in improving speed and efficiency in an organization.
3. Good to Great by Jim Collins: This book gave us the passion to define and focus what our company is all about. We developed our HedgeHog Concept to be “The Best Turn-Key Supplier, Period”. As it relates to this discussion, it introduced to us the importance of the “Right People on the Bus” concept.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Me + NYC = Craziness
Tomorrow, I will (hopefully, weather and God-willing) board a plane to NYC! Absolutely crazy. I don't know what it is about visiting this city that is always brought on by some kind of crazy thing that I have to go and see through. I am so very scared and so very nervous but also at complete peace because I know that it is all in God's very able Hands. What will happen, will happen the exact way that it is supposed to happen, and hopefully I won't get mugged in the process!
And Good Lord, is it expensive to go visit and stay in The City! Did not realize that it would be so much!
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